These days, if people have health problems, many do not visit doctors. They try to get better at home by themselves. Is this a positive or negative development?

8.0 / 9

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Introduction

These days, an increasing number of

individuals

Use synonyms

are attempting to manage their health conditions at

home

Use synonyms

rather than consulting doctors.

Although

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self-care may be appropriate for minor ailments, I believe that avoiding professional medical advice is a negative development because it can pose significant risks to people's well-being.

In particular

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, it may result in delayed diagnoses and inappropriate use of medication.

Body paragraph 1

Firstly

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, managing illnesses at

home

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can delay the detection of potentially serious medical conditions.

Individuals

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without adequate medical knowledge may struggle to distinguish between minor

symptoms

Use synonyms

and signs of a severe disease.

As a result

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, they may rely on

home

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remedies or simply wait for their

symptoms

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to subside.

This

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can be dangerous. If an underlying condition remains undiagnosed, it may progress and become considerably more difficult to treat.

For example

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, persistent chest pain or unusual fatigue may

initially

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appear harmless, even though these

symptoms

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can sometimes indicate a more severe condition.

Therefore

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, without an accurate diagnosis and timely medical intervention, patients may face preventable health complications.

Body paragraph 2

Furthermore

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, self-medication can result in inappropriate treatment. Without guidance from a qualified healthcare professional,

individuals

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may select unsuitable medicines, take an incorrect dosage, or use a drug for longer than recommended. Not only can these practices cause adverse side effects, but they may

also

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aggravate an existing condition.

For instance

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, some

individuals

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take antibiotics whenever they develop

symptoms

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of a cold, despite these drugs being ineffective against viral infections. Their unnecessary use can

also

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contribute to antibiotic resistance, making bacterial infections increasingly difficult to treat.

Thus

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, self-medication may create additional health risks rather than addressing the original illness effectively.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I firmly believe that managing medical conditions at

home

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without appropriate professional guidance is a negative development.

While

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minor ailments can sometimes be managed through self-care, avoiding doctors when professional treatment is necessary may delay diagnosis and expose

individuals

Use synonyms

to inappropriate treatment.

nguyen.hadhnlbg

Sep 20, 2026

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task response

Your view is clear from the start and stays the same. To make it even stronger, you could say more about when home care is safe, such as for a small cold or a cut, and then show more clearly why seeing a doctor is still needed in other cases.

task response

Your two main reasons are well chosen: late care and wrong use of drugs. You could add one more short, real-life result for each point, such as higher cost, more pain, or a longer time to get well.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear order: opening, two body parts, and an ending. Keep using this simple plan in future essays.

coherence and cohesion

Links such as “Firstly”, “Furthermore”, “For example”, and “Therefore” make the flow easy to follow. You can also use simple links like “because”, “so”, and “this means” to avoid using the same kind of link too often.

coherence and cohesion

Each body part has one main idea and then gives a reason and an example. For an even smoother flow, make the last line of each body part clearly tie back to the main question.

task response

You answer the question fully and give a clear negative view. Your reasons stay focused on health risks.

task response

The examples about chest pain and the use of antibiotics are useful, clear, and closely linked to your main ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Your opening tells the reader what the essay will discuss, and your ending restates your view clearly.

coherence and cohesion

The ideas move in a natural order, and each paragraph is easy to understand.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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