Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?
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Introduction
Nowadays, many individuals who offered
crime
and Use synonyms
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
punishment
in the pastUse synonyms
,
are reoffending after completing their sentences. Punctuation problem
apply
This
essay will examine the problem with an effective solution.Linking Words
Body paragraph 1
Crime
is a persistent issue Use synonyms
between
youngsters, and it can bring many serious problems during their lives. The prison they have made may be Change preposition
among
reoffered
because of a lack of rehabilitation. If offenders are simply punished without being rehabilitated, they may not understand how to change their behaviour. The main reason for it is that some prisoners do not receive enough education, psychological support and job training, or if the individuals live in dysfunctional families or deprived communities. Another contributing factor is the influence of negative social networks. Use the right word
reoffended
Crime
may become a normal task because they can see it every single day that their peers made a prison. Use synonyms
For example
, a teenager who grows up with an addicted family and is introduced to drugs during childhood may Linking Words
subsequently
regard substance abuse and other forms of criminal behaviour as normal.Linking Words
Body paragraph 2
Several measures can be implemented to address
this
problem. Linking Words
Firstly
, governments should place greater emphasis Linking Words
or
rehabilitation rather than relying Change preposition
on
on
solely Change preposition
apply
Use synonyms
punishment
because a simple Change preposition
on punishment
punishment
Use synonyms
des
not have any positive effects for them. Offenders could be provided with education, psychological support and vocational training, all of which can help them to build a Correct your spelling
does
successfull
career. Correct your spelling
successful
In addition
, regular monitoring combined with counselling and supportLinking Words
,
could help them avoid harmful influences. Punctuation problem
apply
For instance
, governments can make greater investment for youngsters who made Linking Words
crime
again and again.Use synonyms
Conclusion
In conclusion, people may return to
crime
because of the environment they live Use synonyms
or
Change preposition
in or
lack
of rehabilitation. The governments have to focus more on the Correct article usage
a lack
opportunites
that they can Correct your spelling
opportunities
make
for them andVerb problem
create
,
do not Punctuation problem
apply
rel
solely on Correct your spelling
rely
punishment
.Use synonyms
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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Give two clear reasons why people offend again, then explain how each reason leads to crime.
task response
Make the solutions more exact. Say who will give help, what help they will give, and how this will stop later crime.
task response
Use the example to show the main point. The example about a child and drugs is useful, but explain more clearly how it can lead to crime after prison.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each body paragraph. The first body paragraph can focus on help in prison; the second can focus on family, friends, and life after prison.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with clear words such as “First”, “Also”, “As a result”, and “For example”. Do not join too many different ideas in one long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make key words clear and steady. Use “offenders”, “prisoners”, or “former prisoners” in a careful way, rather than unclear phrases such as “the prison they have made”.
coherence and cohesion
The opening says the essay will examine “the problem with an effective solution”, but the task asks for reasons and measures. State both of these clearly in the opening.
task response
You deal with both the reasons for repeat crime and ways to stop it.
task response
You give useful ideas, such as school, work training, mental health help, and support after prison.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear opening, two main body paragraphs, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use helpful signposts, such as “Firstly”, “In addition”, “For example”, and “In conclusion”.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite