Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

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Introduction
In recent years,
instead
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of working for a large employer, an increasing number of individuals have decided to work for their own business.
This
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trend has become more popular in many countries. There are many factors or initiatives behind
this
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decision that I would like to discuss as follows.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
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, I think folks tend to work for themselves mainly because it can provide a better work-life balance than big companies. The flexibility attracts many employees to quit their job for running their own business.
Secondly
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, governments encourage local residents to build small businesses for economic development.
As a result
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, those businesses become taxpayers to support the entire economic system.
In addition
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, there are many financial benefits as a business owner, which stimulate him to build their own company.
For example
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, they are allowed to reduce their taxable income for owning a company.
Body paragraph 2
However
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, on the flip side, there are
also
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some drawbacks to being a self-employed worker.
For instance
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, some social benefits could fall under
such
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as pension from a big employer to their employees, they need to save money for their future.
Furthermore
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, their revenue would be unstable because it really depends on the market. If no one buys their products or services, it would be their own risk , leading to bankruptcy.
Conclusion
In conclusion, working as a self-employed person has been seen more regularly. The authority encourages certain person use their professional skills to build their own corporations, which is beneficial to both their own life and the community. But there are some disadvantages and risks that need to be avoided for beginners.

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task response
Answer both parts in equal detail. Your essay gives reasons and problems, but some ideas need more clear support.
task response
Explain each main point more fully. For example, say how flexible hours help a parent, or how a small shop may lose money when sales are low.
task response
Use more real and clear examples. The tax point is not fully clear, and it may not be true in every country.
task response
Keep your points close to the question. The point about government help is useful, but explain why it makes people choose this kind of work.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: start, reasons, problems, and end. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body paragraph. Then add an explanation and an example before you move to the next idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as “Firstly”, “Secondly”, “However”, and “For example” help, but do not use too many.
coherence and cohesion
Make some links between sentences clearer. For example, after saying self-employed people may not get a pension, clearly say that they must save money by themselves.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid unclear lines, such as “some social benefits could fall under”. Write a direct idea: “Self-employed people may not get paid leave or a pension.”
task response
You answer both the reasons for self-employment and its bad sides.
task response
Your ideas about flexible work, money risk, and possible failure are relevant to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is easy to follow, and the conclusion returns to the main topic.
coherence and cohesion
You use helpful signposts such as “Firstly”, “In addition”, “However”, and “In conclusion”.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
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