IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that the bicycles are a good, modern means of transportation. Other say riding a bicycle has clear disadvantages. Discuss both view points and give your own opinion.

6.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Riding a bicycle for transportation to a specific place for other
people
Use synonyms
 is a good idea. And for others, it’s not, because of the negative effects that can happen
while
Linking Words
 riding it. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss my opinions and the advantages and disadvantages.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
 with, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 are using
bicycles
Use synonyms
 to reach their destinations. It has advantages;
for instance
Linking Words
, in Singapore, the government encourages
people
Use synonyms
 to ride. Because it helps the environment by not adding pollution, and at the same time, it is good for physical health.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the pavements and roads in Singapore are clean and
organized
Change the spelling
organised
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, it’s a small country where
people
Use synonyms
 can walk or run for a few minutes to the nearby stations. The advantages of riding
bicycles
Use synonyms
 are that they help take care of nature and the Earth.
Also
Linking Words
, it helps our physical bodies live longer lives.
Body paragraph 2
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
bicycles
Use synonyms
 are not for far destinations, where riding the train and bus is preferable.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, sometimes the weather is unpredictable; using a bicycle is not recommended when there’s a storm because it can cause harm to the rider and lead to road accidents.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, not all countries are like Singapore, where roads are clean and safe. Even though it’s good for health, riding for longer hours can make the person tired, and the bicycle can break
.
Verb problem
down.
show examples
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
, riding
bicycles
Use synonyms
 is okay if going to nearby places or just touring inside the park for leisure and happy moments. But for going to farther places, trains and buses should be taken for their safe and fast service.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer all parts of the task in a clear way. You discuss good and bad points, and you give your view at the end. Make your own view clearer in the first part too.
task response
Develop each main idea more. For example, explain how bikes cut air pollution, save money, and help health. Then explain why long trips, bad weather, and unsafe roads can be a problem.
task response
Use more than one clear example. Singapore is a useful example, but explain what other places may need, such as safe bike paths and bike parking.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: good points, bad points, then your final view. Keep this plan, but make each paragraph start with one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words like “To begin with”, “On the contrary”, and “To conclude” help, but do not use too many. Add simple links such as “This is because”, “For example”, and “As a result” to show how ideas connect.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the subject is not clear. For example, change “Riding a bicycle for transportation to a specific place for other people is a good idea” to “For some people, cycling is a good way to travel.”
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea about health and the environment. State it once clearly, then add a reason or example.
task response
You cover both sides of the topic: bikes can help the environment and health, but they may not suit long trips or bad weather.
task response
Your final view is clear: bikes are best for short trips, while public transport is better for long trips.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two main body parts, and a conclusion, so the reader can follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The Singapore example makes your positive side more real and easy to understand.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • eco-friendly
  • pollution
  • cost-effective
  • initial investment
  • maintenance costs
  • healthy lifestyle
  • form of exercise
  • congested urban areas
  • traffic jams
  • bypass gridlocks
  • limited protection
  • vulnerable to injuries
  • long-distance travel
  • transporting heavy loads
  • weather conditions
  • cycling infrastructure
  • uncomfortable
  • unsafe
What to do next:
Look at other essays: