Nowadays, people have greater access to fast food. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadavantages?
Globalization has made the accessibility of ready
meals
extensive for all people and it is my firm belief that it entails plenty of health risks for consumers which outshadows the ease of accessibility by everyone.
One considerable advantage of having widespread access to ready meals
is that they are the best alternative for many to consume food
in a shorter period of time with a modest quality at least. Shortly after globalization, fast food
chains and stores were created to feed hungry office workers as well as
children who relish consuming junk food
. For instance
, fast food
giants like McDonald's, KFC, and Burber-King have dozens of branches all over the world that have been serving millions of customers each year at a competitive price and quality.
Admittedly, there are drawbacks involved in that great access to fast food
has brought about the surge in the popularity of many diseases like obesity and cancer. Bearing in mind the fact that fast foods contain many unhealthy and processed ingredients to increase their shelf life. Consequently
, ease of access to the ready meals
is a preferable selection for many as it is faster to obtain and tastes delicious though it has perilous repercussions if consumed too much. For instance
, the competition between fast food
chains has led the prices of fast food
to plummet, eventually levelling at a point that, no monetary gain can be cultivated unless the quality of meals
is compromised.
In conclusion, despite the plus sides involved, I believe that the downsides of making ready meals
easy to get have a greater impact on humanity because of potential health problems that it may trigger.Submitted by orkhanshamil on
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task achievement
Your introduction provides a clear thesis, indicating that you will discuss the disadvantages of easy access to fast food, but it lacks a preview of the specific points you will cover. In your main body paragraphs, expand upon your ideas with a more detailed explanation and diversify your examples to better show complexity and depth in your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure with an introduction, main body, and conclusion, but transitions between your ideas can be smoother. Use more cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'In addition to', 'However', etc. to clearly guide the reader through your argumentation and improve flow.
lexical resource
Your vocabulary is generally appropriate, but more variety is needed in word choice to demonstrate your lexical resource. Try to avoid repetition of simple words such as 'ready meals' and 'fast food' by using synonyms or referral phrases. Utilise a wider range of academic vocabulary to enhance the complexity of your writing.
grammatical range and accuracy
You show an adequate use of simple and compound sentences. To achieve a higher score, incorporate more complex structures and vary your sentence lengths. Pay careful attention to the use of conjunctions and punctuation to avoid run-on sentences, and make sure subject-verb agreement is consistent throughout.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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