Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each tipe of crime. Others, however, argue that circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

5.5 / 9
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Certain people argue that there should be a specific
punishment
Use synonyms
for each unlawful act.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others believe that the government should consider criminals' circumstances and the reasons that push them toward
crime
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both views before giving my opinion.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
with, defining a certain sanction for each
crime
Use synonyms
empowers the
punishment
Use synonyms
system to implement the procedures that
taken
Verb problem
are taken
show examples
by the government.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it gives transparency for everyone by deploying a
crime
Use synonyms
list
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and specifying the penalty for each
crime
Use synonyms
, which helps people avoid trouble. To cite an example, posting a transparency
crime
Use synonyms
list aids people in avoiding unlawful acts properly.
This
Linking Words
nuanced approach will make the process of the verdict simple through selecting punishments and penalties.
Body paragraph 2
Considering the circumstances of individuals who act illegally is crucial
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
to make sure the judgment for a certain
case
Use synonyms
is fair.
For instance
Linking Words
, some individuals were forced to do what they did because they were injucted in a situation,
such
Linking Words
career promotion or a relationship. The assessment for each
case
Use synonyms
and bearing it in mind allow court to release a verdict perfectly and properly.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, processing every
case
Use synonyms
singularly makes sure that the decision fits the situation fairly.
Body paragraph 3
In my opinion, balancing between stable
punishment
Use synonyms
and individuals' state is required. The court has to provide a
crime
Use synonyms
list for the public and change it dynamically, depending on the individual
crime
Use synonyms
and circumstances simultaneously.
Conclusion
In conclusion, situation-based
punishment
Use synonyms
is a challenge for both the public and the government.
However
Linking Words
, it makes sure that the decision is made accurately if they studied every
case
Use synonyms
carefully and fairly.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view, which is good. However, make your opinion more clear: say whether fixed rules or the facts of each case should be more important.
task response
Explain why fixed punishments may be useful. For example, they can make the law more equal and may stop some people from doing crimes.
task response
Your example about people being forced is not clear. Give one real type of case, such as a person who steals food because they have no money, and explain why this should change the punishment.
task response
Some ideas are repeated, such as fair decisions and looking at each case. Add new points instead, such as age, mental health, past crimes, or self-defence.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: introduction, one paragraph for each view, your view, and conclusion. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first sentence of each body paragraph state the main point in a direct way. Then explain it and give one clear example.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links more carefully: "First", "For example", "However", "As a result", and "In my view". Do not use long or unclear links such as "This nuanced approach" when the idea before it is not clear.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid unclear wording. For example, "the procedures that taken by the government" and "posting a transparency crime list" are hard to understand. Use direct phrases like "the law can set a fixed punishment for each crime".
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you explain both views and state your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are in a sensible order, and the introduction and conclusion are both present.
task response
The second body paragraph has the right main idea: personal facts can affect whether a punishment is fair.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • uniformity
  • fairness
  • deterrence
  • legal process
  • nuanced approach
  • rehabilitation
  • equitable outcomes
  • flexibility
  • complexities
  • nuances
  • inconsistency
  • subjectivity
  • baseline
  • adjustments
  • legal system
  • equitable
  • effective
What to do next:
Look at other essays: