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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many People believe that current system of both teachers and students in the class room will no longer exist by the year 2050. To what extent do you agree with this statement

7.5 / 9
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Introduction
Over the
last
Linking Words
 few decades, it has been argued by many people that the traditional
education
Use synonyms
 system, in which teachers conduct lessons inside classrooms for
students
Use synonyms
, will be abolished by the year 2050.
While
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this
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 may be possible to some extent, I strongly disagree with
this
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 claim because
this
Linking Words
 educational framework has proven its effectiveness for centuries.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand,
due to
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 the increasing popularity of online courses, many individuals predict that attending classes within the four walls of a classroom will no longer be necessary because of their convenience and affordability.
However
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, public schools provide free
education
Use synonyms
, and almost every town and village has educational facilities available.
While
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 some may argue that universities are concentrated in major cities and that daily travel can be challenging for learners, accommodations are often provided on campus for those who live far away.
For instance
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, the University of the Philippines offers high-quality
education
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 to Filipino
students
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, including board and lodging for eligible scholars.
Additionally
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, campuses are strategically located throughout the archipelago to ensure greater accessibility.
Thus
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,
although
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 online learning is likely to expand significantly, it is unlikely to completely replace face-to-face instruction.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, the current teaching model, in which both educators and learners interact within physical learning environments, has a strong track record of producing academically competent and well-rounded graduates.
This
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 is because well-structured modules and curricula are continuously refined by respected experts and delivered by educational institutions.
Students
Use synonyms
 must comply with rigorous academic requirements and pass various assessments
while
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 adhering to high standards, which
consequently
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 results in highly qualified professionals.
Furthermore
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, the benefits of being physically present in class extend beyond intellectual development. It fosters interpersonal skills and enables
students
Use synonyms
 to form meaningful relationships with their peers and lecturers through direct interaction, helping them become not only knowledgeable but
also
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 socially adept individuals.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 there is a possibility that traditional classroom-based learning may decline in the future
due to
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 technological advancements
such
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 as virtual
education
Use synonyms
, I strongly disagree that it will disappear entirely. In my view, teachers and
students
Use synonyms
 will continue to occupy physical learning spaces because these environments consistently produce graduates who are both academically capable and holistically developed.

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task response
Your view is clear: you do not think the classroom system will end. To make the answer stronger, focus more directly on why teachers and students will still need to meet in person in 2050.
task response
The first main point talks a lot about free schools, travel, and places to stay. These points are useful, but they do not fully show why online learning cannot take the place of a teacher and a class. Add points such as help from a teacher, class talk, hands-on work, and the need for school rules.
task response
Your second main point is strong because it explains both learning and social growth. You could make it even better by giving one clear example of a subject or task that needs face-to-face work, such as science work, art, sport, or group tasks.
task response
The example about the University of the Philippines is linked to access to school, but it is quite detailed and may not be needed. A more direct example about students learning better with a teacher in the room would support your main view more closely.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: introduction, two main parts, and conclusion. Each paragraph has one main idea, so it is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The link words are used well. However, the first body paragraph starts with a view that you do not support, then moves through several points. Make the topic sentence clearer by saying at once that online learning will grow but will not fully take over.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are long and hold many ideas. Split them into shorter sentences when you move from one point to the next. This will make the flow even smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Use a closer link between the first and second body paragraphs. For example, after talking about access, say that access is not the only reason classrooms will remain; personal support and social learning also matter.
task response
You answer the question fully and keep a clear, strong view from the start to the end.
task response
You explain that classroom learning gives both school knowledge and social skills. This is a strong and relevant reason.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly shows the topic and your view, and your conclusion repeats that view in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
The paragraphs are well planned, and words such as “however,” “furthermore,” and “in conclusion” help the reader follow your ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • teacher
  • students
  • class
  • classroom
  • learn
  • home
  • study
  • lesson
  • change
  • future
  • tool
  • help
  • guide
  • group
  • work
  • talk
  • think
  • more
  • less
  • cost
  • access
  • policy
  • time
  • year
  • 2050
  • different
  • will
  • could
  • should
  • together
  • this
  • that
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