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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people have great ambition in their life others do not think ambition is important to successes in life. It is positive or negative quality to have.

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Introduction
It has been observed that high ambition is the key of successed in being. Certain individuals have high aspirations in their
life
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,
while
Linking Words
 others believe opposit of that. I think it is a positive
quality
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 to have a goal, which I
discussed
Wrong verb form
will discuss
show examples
 in the upcoming paragraphs with relevant examples.
Body paragraph 1
There are so many advantages of great ambition in
life
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. The first and foremost is that people always find out of his reach for improve their
quality
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 of
life
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. To explain it, they are working hard and saving money to achieve their goals, which is essential to a
quality
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 of
life
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.
For example
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, Dhirubhai Ambani was working at a gas station for a few years, but after his hardwork now, he now has India's biggest petroleum refinery.
Thus
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, having high aspirations in
life
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 is essential to success in
life
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.
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it helps individuals to improve their confidence. To elaborate, some people are not confident in what they have to do and leave the work in the middle, so having great ambition plays a vital role to increase confident and gives ways to fulfil it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, no hurdles can stop a person to achive their determination. Because they know what they have to do and how, they can easily find a way to solve any problems.
Conclusion
Taking everything into consideration, the
above discussed
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above-discussed
positive
quality
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 of great aspiration
,
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apply
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 plays a major role in accomplishing their aim. It is essential to have aims in
life
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 to imrove
quality
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 of
life
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 and fulfil your dreams.

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task response
State your view more clearly in the first part. Say that ambition is a positive quality, but too much ambition can also cause stress or harm other people. This gives a fuller answer to the question.
task response
Keep the focus on ambition, not only on having a goal. Explain why ambition helps people work hard, learn from failure, and move forward.
task response
Develop each main point with a clear reason and a short example. For example, explain how a person with ambition may study each day for a job, even after failing an exam.
task response
The Ambani example has an unclear fact and does not fully show your point. Use a simple, clear example that you can explain well.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. Keep this plan, but make the main idea of each part more direct.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between ideas, such as “First”, “Also”, “For example”, and “As a result”. Do not use long link phrases when a short one is enough.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the words are not in a clear order. Write shorter sentences with one main idea in each sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea about success and quality of life. Add a new point in the second main part, such as ambition helping people make a plan and stay strong after problems.
task response
You clearly choose the positive side and give two useful ideas: ambition can improve life and build confidence.
task response
You include an example and try to explain it, which helps support your view.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion, so the reader can follow the overall plan.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “Furthermore”, “Moreover”, and “Taking everything into consideration”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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