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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people believe in the idea of school children wearing a school uniform, but should teachers as well be required to conform to a dress code?

7.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
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Introduction
There is an ongoing debate about whether
teachers
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 should conform to a
dress
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code
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. I completely agree with
this
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 view. The reasons supporting my view will be discussed in the following essay.
Body paragraph 1
First of all, requiring
teachers
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 to follow a
dress
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code
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 can have several benefits.
This
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 is mainly because a
dress
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code
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 can help
teachers
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 maintain a professional image.
This
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 is important because wearing formal clothing can help educators present a more professional image and gain respect from their students. When
teachers
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dress
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 appropriately, students may see them as more professional and responsible.
As a result
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, students may be more willing to listen to their
teachers
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 and follow classroom rules.
Therefore
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, it becomes easier for
teachers
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 to maintain discipline and create a positive learning environment.
Body paragraph 2
Moreover
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, a
dress
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code
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 can prevent
teachers
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 from wearing inappropriate clothes at school.
This
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 is important because
teachers
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 often serve as role models for
children
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.
For instance
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,
children
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 often imitate the behaviour and appearance of adults around them.
Teachers
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 are especially important because
children
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 spend a lot of time with them. On top of that, appropriate clothing can reduce the risk of injury.
For instance
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, preschool
teachers
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 may need to wear comfortable and practical clothes and avoid wearing accessories because young
children
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 may accidentally grab their clothes or accessories, which could cause injuries.
Thus
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,
teachers
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 should follow
dress
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 codes that are appropriate for their educational settings.
Conclusion
To sum up
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, I believe that schools should require
teachers
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 to follow a
dress
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code
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 because appropriate clothing can help
teachers
Use synonyms
 maintain a professional image, create a positive learning environment, and reduce the risk of accidents.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start, and you give two main reasons. To make the answer stronger, explain more fully why respect from students comes from dress, not only from a teacher’s actions and skills.
task response
Your ideas are relevant, but some points repeat the same idea about a professional image. Add one more clear point, such as how a simple dress rule can make school feel fair and well run.
task response
The example about pre-school teachers is useful. Make it more exact by saying what clothes are safe, such as flat shoes and no long necklaces. This will make your point more real.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: opening, two body parts, and ending. Keep this plan, but make the first line shorter and more direct. You can state your view and main reasons in one or two lines.
coherence and cohesion
Use fewer repeated link words such as “This is important because” and “For instance”. Try other simple links, such as “Also”, “Because of this”, “In this way”, and “For this reason”.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences repeat “professional image” and “appropriate clothing”. You can join or cut these repeated parts so each sentence gives a new idea.
task response
You answer the question directly and clearly support the idea that teachers should follow a dress rule.
task response
The safety point for young children is relevant and helps make the answer more than a general discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part has one main idea, and the ending brings the main reasons together clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of simple signposts, such as “First of all”, “Moreover”, and “To sum up”, helps the reader follow your answer.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionalism
  • conform
  • dress code
  • authority
  • cohesive
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • egalitarian
  • reputation
  • stakeholders
  • standardized
  • focus
  • quality of education
  • unified
  • respect
  • visual differences
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