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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that studying history has little value in today's world, while others argue that understanding the past plays an important role in guiding present life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
People
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 have different opinions about whether
history
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 is still valuable or not. There are several reasons why
history
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 is important and can help to build a better future for the next generation.In my opinion, valuable information is provided by
history
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, which can be used to make better decisions and
helps
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help
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people
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 remain connected to their roots.
Body paragraph 1
One major reason why
people
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 argue that learning
history
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 has reduced value in recent times is
due to
Linking Words
 the technological world. In recent times, work, communication and trade have increasingly moved online, and
this
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 has significantly changed the way
people
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 live and interact with each other. These reasons prove that individuals are less likely to give importance to
history
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,
while
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 they are more interested in advanced technology.
Body paragraph 2
It is
truely belived
Correct your spelling
truly believed
 that
history
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 offers various patterns of the past, which can be used to shape
present
Correct article usage
the present
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. In the past, several accomplishments, developments and conflicts demonstrate
that
Correct word choice
apply
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how the communities build and run, including the importance of different cultures and traditions. If learners read that information, they can easily understand the causes of mistakes in the past and can be very careful not to repeat them
in
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apply
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today's time
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today
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.
This
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 can
further
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 help students to make more thoughtful decisions.
Body paragraph 3
In my view, learning
history
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 is highly important because it provides an understanding of the foundations of human society. When
people
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 are awared about the
history
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, they can stay connected to their tradition and culture effectively, which are gradually fading away in modern
time
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times
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. Having a strong understanding of
history
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allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
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people
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 to develop a sense of identity and
people
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 can feel more connected to their community, which can
also
Linking Words
 be passed to next generations.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
people
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presents
Correct subject-verb agreement
present
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 different opinions regarding the value of
history
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 in recent times. It is true that modern technology has made lives easier
,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
Linking Words
,
people
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 should not overlook the importance
past
Change preposition
of the past
show examples
.

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task response
Discuss both sides more fully. The first side says history has less value because of new technology, but explain clearly why this makes history less useful. Add one clear real-life example for each side.
task response
Your view is clear and stays the same. Make it stronger by showing how history helps people make a choice today, such as learning from a past war, health event, or money crash.
task response
Some ideas are too general, such as ‘valuable information’ and ‘various patterns’. Say what the information is and how people can use it.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, body parts, and end. However, the first body part needs a clearer link between online life and the claim that history has little value.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words more carefully: ‘On the one hand’, ‘On the other hand’, ‘For example’, and ‘As a result’. This will make the flow easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each body part focused on one main point. In the second body part, first explain learning from past mistakes, then give one example, and then link it back to the main question.
coherence and cohesion
Improve a few word forms so the meaning is clear: use ‘aware’, not ‘awared’; ‘believed’, not ‘belived’; and ‘allows’, not ‘allow’.
task response
You answer both parts of the question and give a clear personal view.
task response
Your main points are on-topic: new technology, learning from past mistakes, culture, and identity.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, two main body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion returns to your main view and does not add a new idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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