Many companies sponsor sports as a way of advertising themselves. Some people think this is good for the world of sport, while others think it is negative. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction

Many people believe that

companies

Use synonyms

sponsor

sports

Use synonyms

for their commercial purposes, and

this

Linking Words

is positive.

While

Linking Words

others regard it as negative.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both views before offering a reasoned opinion.

Body paragraph 1

Firstly

Linking Words

, proponents of

sponsorship

Use synonyms

believe that sponsoring

sports

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can have a positive impact on

sports

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. When

companies

Use synonyms

sponsor

sports

Use synonyms

, they provide financial support for sporting events, which provides event

organizers

Change the spelling

organisers

show examples

with adequate financial resources.

This

Linking Words

can

also

Linking Words

lead to increased visibility and popularity of

sports

Use synonyms

, making them attract large groups or live audiences.

This

Linking Words

sparks passion in many young people to become

athletes

Use synonyms

, and the

sponsorship

Use synonyms

provides them with opportunities to excel.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

Linking Words

, critics argue that

sponsorship

Use synonyms

has negative impacts that

companies

Use synonyms

are fully aware of.

Sports

Use synonyms

have become more

commercialized

Change the spelling

commercialised

show examples

than a fair game or community event. Sponsors are more focused on making money rather than supporting

sports

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. They know about the emotional connections fans have with

sports

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. Fans deeply admire their favourite

athletes

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and teams. When a brand supports those teams, fans transfer their positive feelings and loyalty from the sport to the company.

Sponsorship

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has

also

Linking Words

affected

athletes

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' performance.

Companies

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that pay money to

athletes

Use synonyms

, teams, or events have developed a mindset of winning at all costs, where they are willing to sacrifice fair play, ethics, health, and safety.

For instance

Linking Words

, many

athletes

Use synonyms

cheat, intentionally injure opponents, and use performance-enhancing drugs to win just to receive massive financial rewards and salaries. They play through severe concussions or serious injuries for prize pools.

Conclusion

In my opinion,

sponsorship

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is somewhat beneficial for encouraging

sports

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but can be detrimental for professional

athletes

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, as it can cause serious harm to their mental and physical health, leaving them with less potential to participate in

sports

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further

Linking Words

rubin5695

Sep 25, 2026

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Task response

You answer all parts of the question. You show both sides and give your own view. To make your view stronger, say more clearly why the good points are more or less important than the bad points.

Task response

Your main ideas are clear, but some need more care. For example, do not say all sponsors want money more than sport. Explain that this may happen in some cases, such as when a brand puts too much pressure on a team.

Task response

Your example about drugs and injuries is useful. Make the link to company support clearer: large prize money and strong pressure to win can lead some players to take unsafe choices.

Coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear four-part plan: start, good side, bad side, and your view. This makes it easy to follow.

Coherence and cohesion

Use clearer links between ideas. For example, change “This can also lead” to “As a result, this support can also lead”. This will show the cause and result more clearly.

Coherence and cohesion

Some sentences repeat the same point about money and winning. Join or cut these parts so each sentence adds a new idea.

Coherence and cohesion

The last paragraph is too short. Add one or two sentences to explain how sport groups can take company money but still protect fair play, player health, and the rules.

Task response

You discuss the good side and the bad side in a fair way, then give a clear personal view.

Task response

The points about money for events, more people watching sport, and risks to player health are on topic and easy to understand.

Coherence and cohesion

Each body paragraph has one main side of the topic, so the order of ideas is clear.

Coherence and cohesion

You use simple signposts such as “Firstly”, “On the other hand”, and “In my opinion” well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sponsorship
advertisement
financial support
visibility
popularity
athletes
excel
healthy competition
commercialization
fair competition
profits
well-being
exclusion
less popular sports

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In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruits and vegetables. Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?