IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
In recent times, the topic of many individuals think that the network is making the world tiny by making
people
Use synonyms
 connect with each other, gathering significant attention and sparking
widespreadattention
Correct your spelling
widespread attention
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is crucial to take a deep dive into its complexities. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
Body paragraph 1
To embark upon, the internet plays a significant role in communication.
As it
Correct pronoun usage
It
show examples
 will help
people
Use synonyms
 to communicate and share their problems with each other.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey was conducted in the USA, showing
people
Use synonyms
 who have a good handle on the network are more likely to be extroverted to the world and are capable
to make
Change preposition
of making
show examples
 friends at social parties.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
Linking Words
, it will
also
Linking Words
 help in taking care of each other without physical interference.
This
Linking Words
 kind of stuff bringspeople bring
people
Use synonyms
 close together , and whenever they want a person's help.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it will
also
Linking Words
 help in providing relevant and fact-based information
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will help in education or opportunities.
For example
Linking Words
, data shows 75%
people
Use synonyms
 who use data and advanced technology are more capable to resolve there conflicts and have attritibute to positive impact.
Whereas
Linking Words
, 25% who are not using the network suffer from Anxiety, loneliness and are unable to cope with the problem based situations.
Conclusion
To recapitulate, having daily conversation
along with
Linking Words
 loved ones will reduces the stress and anxiety and motivate them to achieve there goal.
Thus
Linking Words
, if a person doesn't have
this
Linking Words
 access in their life will feel more agitated and anxious.
Therefore
Linking Words
, haveing these kind of technology helps
people
Use synonyms
 in their
overall
Linking Words
 growth rate.

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task response
State your main answer clearly in the first part, then explain how the Internet makes talk easier across long distance.
task response
Use two clear main ideas. For example, people can speak at once by video call, and they can keep in touch with family and friends in other places.
task response
Explain each example more. The survey and the data are not clear because the source is not given and the link to Internet talk is weak. Use a real, simple example from your life instead.
task response
Stay close to the question. Parts about school, work, growth, and anxiety need a clearer link to communication.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an opening, two body parts, and an ending. Make each body part follow one clear plan: main idea, reason, example, result.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words in a natural way: First, Also, For example, As a result, and In short. Do not use long set phrases such as “To embark upon” or “To recapitulate”.
coherence and cohesion
Make sentences complete and clear. For example, change “whenever they want a person's help” to “People can ask for help whenever they need it.”
coherence and cohesion
Check spacing and repeated words. For example, write “brings people close together” only once, and leave one space after full stops.
task response
You give a clear view that you agree, and you try to give reasons and examples.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it has separate parts for your ideas and a final summary.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful link words, such as “For instance”, “Secondly”, and “Moreover”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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