IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

MANY PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD USE SOCIAL MEDIA EVERYDAY TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH PEOPLE AND GET NEWS. DO YOU THINK THE ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES?

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In
this
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 day and age, social
media
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 is
one
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 of the most integral parts of human life the majority of
people
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 around the globe utilise it to communicate and catch up on the
news
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.
This
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 writer agrees with the notion that the convenience is an obvious benefit and outweighs the drawbacks. When it comes to the act of communication, social
media
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 has played a crucial role in keeping contact with other
people
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.
In other words
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, having the ability to connect
people
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 from everywhere over the globe, social
media
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 now can be the means of communication, attaching
people
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 together without distant barriers. Taking Messenger as a standout applicant,
while
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 phone calls in the past were the only
one
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 could keep in touch with others which took a lot of time and fee, messenger,
in contrast
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, is the
one
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 that has the innovation, calling each other now is a totally free, convenient and more widespread associate with the help of the internet. In terms of another positive aspect, the validation of
news
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 via social platforms that keep
people
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 updated is
also
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 worth noting thing. To
further
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 explain, thanks to the administration contained in social
media
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, an abundance of junk information which appeared massively is now being removed and substituted with positive
one
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. Indeed,
people
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 can keep the latest
news
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 and information trustworthy.
For instance
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, Tiktok is an app that used to appear a majority amount of fake
news
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 during the pandemic covid-19 ,
however
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, with the help of the secure cyber agency, Tiktok now is a place containing educational information and valid
news
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. In conclusion, social
media
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 now contains numerous merits that can be a place
people
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 communicate and get trustworthy
news
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.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating more on how the advantages of social media clearly outweigh its disadvantages. You could address some potential drawbacks more explicitly to create a more balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structures to enhance clarity. This will help in conveying your ideas more effectively.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets the stage for a discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of social media.
supported main points
The essay uses specific examples like Messenger and Tiktok to illustrate the points made, which shows a good attempt at supporting the main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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