IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In recent times, many people are making the decision to leave alone.what are the causes of this? Does iit have positive or negative impact on society

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Introduction
The issue of
people
Use synonyms
 who make the decision to leave alone has become a significant concern in recent years.It is widely believed that it has
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 impact on
socity
Correct your spelling
society
.
This
Linking Words
 essay explores the causes of the problem and suggests possible solutions.
Body paragraph 1
One major cause is that many
people
Use synonyms
 feel comfortable when they live alone,which affects
the person`s
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 family .
For instance
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,if an old woman lives alone and all her
children
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 live outside the home,the old woman might need help because she can not move smoothly .Another cause is that
people
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 who want to feel independent think that
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 alone is a
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 idea.
For example
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,if a girl has reached 20 years old,she thinks that she is old ,so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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she must live alone,which is a bad idea because she might
can
Verb problem
apply
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not
afford
Verb problem
be able
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 to buy the rent for her apartment.
Body paragraph 2
One solution is that
parents
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 should
strict
Verb problem
be strict
show examples
 with their
childen
Correct your spelling
children
 and do not allow them to live alone,which would help to have respect
Use synonyms
children
Change preposition
for children
show examples
 and make them
more happy
Replace the word
happier
 to live with their
parents
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.Another solution is that
parents
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 should give their
children
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 what they need to make them love their home .
For instance
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,if a girl wants to decorate her room,her
parents
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 should support and afford to her what she
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 for her room ,which assists the girl to feel emotional support from her family.
Conclusion
To sum up
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,
people
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 who make the decision to leave alone
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a pressing issue.By adopting measures to be strict with
children
Use synonyms
 and support them at the same time,we can address the root causes and work towards a better outcome.

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Task response
Answer both parts in a direct way. Give clear causes first, then say if the main impact is good or bad for society. Do not write about solutions, because the question does not ask for them.
Task response
Make your main view clear. You say living alone is bad, but also say some people feel comfortable and want to be free. Explain why the bad side is stronger.
Task response
Use more full and real examples. For example, say that living alone can help young adults learn to pay bills and make choices, but it can also make old people feel alone and need more care.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an opening, main parts, and an ending. However, the main parts do not match the question well: the second main part gives solutions instead of impacts.
Coherence and cohesion
Use a simple plan: opening; causes; positive and negative impacts; ending. This will make each paragraph have one clear job.
Coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words to show the order of ideas, such as “First”, “Also”, “On the good side”, “However”, and “In the end”.
Coherence and cohesion
Keep each example close to its main idea. The example about rent is not clear as a cause. It would fit better as a negative impact of living alone.
Task response
You give two causes: people want comfort and people want to be free. You also use examples to explain your ideas.
Coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear opening and ending, and words such as “For instance” and “To sum up” help the reader follow some of your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Independence
  • Personal growth
  • Self-discovery
  • Financial independence
  • Social norms
  • Cultural shifts
  • Individualism
  • Urbanization
  • Technology
  • Loneliness
  • Community
  • Accommodations
  • Desirable
  • Relationships
  • Achievement
What to do next:
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