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Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Training 65-year-olds to use computers would be a good use of government money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

8.5 / 9
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Introduction
It is often argued that using
government
Use synonyms
 money to train
people
Use synonyms
 aged 65 and above to use computers would be a worthwhile investment. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view because digital skills can help older
people
Use synonyms
 access essential
services
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 independently and maintain communication with family and friends.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, computer training can help older
people
Use synonyms
 remain independent in a society where many essential
services
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 are becoming digital. Banks,
government
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 departments and healthcare providers increasingly offer online
services
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, so basic computer skills can make everyday tasks easier for elderly citizens.
For example
Linking Words
, a 65-year-old person who understands online banking can check an account or pay a bill without travelling to a bank branch.
Similarly
Linking Words
, basic digital knowledge can help older
people
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 book medical appointments and access
government
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 information.
As a result
Linking Words
, training can provide them with greater independence and reduce their reliance on family members.
Body paragraph 2
Another important benefit is improved communication and social connection. Older
people
Use synonyms
 who learn to use computers can communicate with relatives and friends through email, video calls and social media.
This
Linking Words
 is particularly useful when family members live in different cities or countries.
For instance
Linking Words
, an elderly parent can make regular video calls with children who live abroad, allowing them to maintain a close relationship despite the physical distance. In
this
Linking Words
 way, digital skills can reduce social isolation and improve emotional well-being.
Although
Linking Words
 some older
people
Use synonyms
 may need additional support when learning new technology, the long-term social and practical benefits justify public investment.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I strongly agree that using
government
Use synonyms
 money to train
people
Use synonyms
 aged 65 and above to use computers would be worthwhile.
Such
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 training can increase their independence in accessing essential
services
Use synonyms
 and help them maintain meaningful relationships with family and friends.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start and stays the same. You give two good reasons: help with daily needs and help with family contact. To make it even stronger, add one short point about why public money, not only family help, is needed.
task response
Your examples are clear and fit your points. You could make one example more real by saying how a local class could help an older person use a bank, a doctor site, or a video call.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow. Each main part has one clear job, and the order of ideas works well. Keep this clear plan: state your view, give one reason in each main part, then sum up.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words such as “For example”, “Similarly”, and “As a result” help the reader. You could use fewer set links like “On the one hand” when there is no matching “On the other hand”; start the first main part more directly instead.
coherence and cohesion
The last part repeats your main view and main reasons well. For a smoother end, you may add one final short line that shows the wider good for society, such as less need for help with simple daily tasks.
task response
You answer the full question directly and give a strong, clear view.
task response
The points about online services and contact with family are useful, clear, and well explained.
coherence and cohesion
The writing has a clear beginning, two well planned main parts, and a strong ending.
coherence and cohesion
Examples are placed after the main ideas, so the reader can understand your points with ease.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital literacy
  • computer skills
  • older citizens
  • senior citizens
  • government funding
  • public money
  • practical training
  • small-group classes
  • step-by-step guidance
  • online banking
  • medical appointments
  • public services
  • video calls
  • social isolation
  • stay connected
  • independent living
  • part-time employment
  • affordable access
  • face-to-face support
  • essential services
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