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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people get a chance to choose between life without work and spending most of the time working, then they would choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Some people get a chance to choose between
life
Use synonyms
 without
work
Use synonyms
 and spending most of the time working,
then
Linking Words
 they would choose not to
work
Use synonyms
. Do you agree or disagree?
Body paragraph 1
​There has been a topic of debate as to whether it is better for people
living
Wrong verb form
to live
show examples
 without
work
Use synonyms
 or
Use synonyms
work-dominated
Correct article usage
a work-dominated
show examples
 existence. Some people agree with
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 opinion
while
Linking Words
 others believe that the second option is the best for everyone.
This
Linking Words
 essay will outline some important factors
bilieved
Correct your spelling
believed
 to be involved.
Body paragraph 2
​Choosing a
career
Use synonyms
 early in
life
Use synonyms
 and pursuing it for an extended period of time can have many great benefits later in
life
Use synonyms
. You wouldn't face some difficulties
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
related to finance.
In addition
Linking Words
, reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
work
Use synonyms
 lead to greater
career
Use synonyms
 fulfilment later in their
life
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 3
​
On the other hand
Linking Words
, those who don't choose
work
Use synonyms
 may
also
Linking Words
 experience many benefits. They may give freedom for themselves, but wanted to reach
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 grade
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
except
Punctuation problem
, except
show examples
Use synonyms
Change preposition
for career
show examples
career
Punctuation problem
career,
show examples
 there are
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 of benefits.
Conclusion
​In conclusion, how one person gains satisfaction from their
career
Use synonyms
 or
work
Use synonyms
 may be different for everyone. Some may gain job satisfaction from their big salary or how
far
Correct word choice
free
show examples
 they feel themselves free in
Use synonyms
life
Punctuation problem
life,
show examples
 that depend on themselves.

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task response
State your own view clearly in the first paragraph. Say if you agree or disagree, and keep this view clear to the end.
task response
Answer the exact question. The topic asks about choosing no work or spending most time at work. Your essay talks more about careers, money, and freedom, but it does not fully explain which life people would choose.
task response
Give two clear reasons for your view. For each reason, explain why it matters and add a simple real-life example.
task response
Develop your ideas more. For example, a life with no work may give free time, but work can give money, purpose, and contact with other people.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduction, first reason, second reason, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one main idea. Your second body paragraph changes quickly from freedom to study and then to other benefits, so it is hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words to show the path of your ideas: First, Also, However, For example, and Therefore.
coherence and cohesion
Write full and clear sentences. For example, change “reaching to a work lead” to “having a job can lead to greater job satisfaction.”
coherence and cohesion
Make the conclusion repeat your view in a direct way. Do not introduce a new unclear idea at the end.
task response
You discuss both work and no work, so your essay stays close to the topic.
task response
You include useful ideas such as money, freedom, and job satisfaction.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “In addition,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion.”
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • constraints of employment
  • immerse
  • personal fulfillment
  • enhanced relationships
  • work-related stress
  • professional achievements
  • financial insecurity
  • societal backlash
  • cultural expectations
  • identity and worth
What to do next:
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