It is important for all towns and cities to have large outdoor public spaces such as park. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Open areas are crucial to avoid suffocation and unhealthy lifestyles, particularly urban lands. It is suggested that megacities should focus on having huge parks. I do opine with
this
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statement of having green spaces,
however
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, medium-sized lands could
also
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serve the purpose. First and foremost, in our modern societies, the concept of outdoor activities is declining.
Due to
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the growing population and rapid urbanisation in big cities, there is hardly any space for outside activities.
This
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can often lead to social isolation and health issues among the youngsters.
Thus
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, a dire need to have open parks, where people not only interact with their neighbours but
also
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offer health benefits. Exercising and meditating in the open air, under the sky has significantly shown better results than going to a gym or working out at home.
For instance
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, schools having huge playgrounds are able to provide more sports facilities to their students, which leads to a healthy society.
Conversely
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, high demand for housing and other amenities in popular towns, makes it impossible to have huge green areas.
This
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hardly leaves a room to have vacant grounds. A recent study by the University of Toronto reveals that
due to
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the lenient immigration policies in recent years, there has been a tremendous increase in population and now to host these migrants , we have to give away our open spaces to build new houses.
This
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trend is ongoing and will
consequently
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make us unhealthy. In conclusion, it is essential to have space for parks, but the size could be restricted to medium
instead
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of large , owing to the number of people and other infrastructural requirements in metropolitan cities.

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task achievement
Consider rephrasing the argument to emphasize why outdoor public spaces are vital for social interaction and mental health to create a more compelling argument.
coherence and cohesion
Include transitional phrases to better connect your ideas between paragraphs and within them, enhancing the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your claims about the health benefits of parks and open spaces, perhaps mentioning specific studies or statistics.
overall impression
The essay presents a clear standpoint, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument regarding the importance of parks.
task achievement
The use of relevant examples, such as schools with playgrounds providing sports facilities, offers practical support for your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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