All large companies should provide sports and community facilities to the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

5.0 / 9

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Introduction

Most individuals believe that large

organizations

Change the spelling

organisations

show examples

should support local

companies

Use synonyms

to improve their infrastructure. I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement. I personally believe that sponsoring main events by large corporations not only

encourage

Correct subject-verb agreement

encourages

show examples

the youth participation but

also

Linking Words

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

older individuals to

adpot

Correct your spelling

adopt

a healthier lifestyle.

Body paragraph 1

Large

companies

Use synonyms

should sponsor

sports

Use synonyms

events because it increases youth participation in different activities. Young

people

Use synonyms

often feel motivated when they see large

companies

Use synonyms

organise

sports

Use synonyms

events, competitions, and marathons on a larger scale

, it

Punctuation problem

. It

show examples

creates excitement among young

people

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and encourages them to take part in it.

Consequently

Linking Words

, it develops confidence, discipline, and

team work

Correct your spelling

teamwork

skills, which helps them to stay away from unhealthy habits, and

also

Linking Words

beneficial for gaining expertise

Linking Words

particular

Correct article usage

a particular

show examples

activity.

For instance

Linking Words

, Nike spends $5 to $6 billion dollars to encourage children towards

sports

Use synonyms

activities,

they

Correct word choice

and they

show examples

also

Linking Words

organise

sports

Use synonyms

training camps where professional coaches train them to become a better version of themselves.

Body paragraph 2

Moreover

Linking Words

, the infrastructure of the society can be improved

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

when large

companies

Use synonyms

start investing in it.

People

Use synonyms

can enjoy a better lifestyle

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

when big

organizations

Change the spelling

organisations

show examples

spend on building parks, hospitals, and community centres. These facilities help

people

Use synonyms

to stay mentally strong

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

and physically healthier, as they provide spaces for

exercises

Check wording

exercise

show examples

, relaxation, and social interaction.

In addition

Linking Words

, advancements in technology funded by

companies

Use synonyms

can increase the

life-expectancy

Correct your spelling

life expectancy

of older

people

Use synonyms

by inventing new medicines

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and developing treatments that cure diseases at

earlier

Correct article usage

an earlier

show examples

stage.

Therefore

Linking Words

, assistance from

large

Correct article usage

a large

show examples

corporation is essential for improving the

overall

Linking Words

quality of life in society.

Conclusion

In conclusion, support from large

companies

Use synonyms

plays a vital role in improving both community participation and public infrastructure. Corporate sponsorship encourages young

people

Use synonyms

to engage in healthy activities,

while

Linking Words

investments in parks, hospitals, and community centres help older individuals lead a better lifestyle.

kaurjagdeep2097

Sep 30, 2026

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task response

Answer the exact question. The task is about giving sports and community places to local people, but your first line says large firms should support local companies. Change this to local communities.

task response

Make your view clear from the start: say that you fully agree, or agree to a large extent. Keep every main point linked to sports and community facilities.

task response

Your ideas about parks and community centres fit the task well. However, hospitals, new drugs, and life length are too far from the main topic. Use ideas such as free sports halls, public fields, meeting rooms, and local classes instead.

task response

Develop the example more carefully. The Nike example has a very large money claim, but it is not clearly linked to local facilities. Give one clear example of a company paying for a local park, sports court, or community centre.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear shape: opening, two main parts, and ending. Keep this good plan, but make the first main part focus on facilities, not only on sports events.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences are too long and join many ideas with commas. Split them into shorter sentences so the meaning is easier to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Use links in a more natural way. Words such as 'For example', 'As a result', and 'In addition' can show how one idea leads to the next.

coherence and cohesion

Avoid repeating 'large companies', 'big organizations', and 'corporations' too often. You can use 'these firms' after the first use.

task response

You give a clear positive view and explain that local support can help young and older people.

task response

The points about parks and community centres are useful and directly show how local people may benefit.

coherence and cohesion

Each body part has one main idea, and the ending brings the two main ideas together.

coherence and cohesion

You use clear paragraph breaks and helpful signposts such as 'Moreover' and 'In conclusion'.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

corporate social responsibility
local residents
public facilities
sports centre
community centre
improve public health
promote an active lifestyle
safe recreational space
young people
social cohesion
build trust with the community
financial burden
legal obligation
pay local taxes
public-private partnership
tax incentives
local authorities
meet local needs
fund community projects
give back to society

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