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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some believe that it is a better idea for people to communicate through internet while others believe that face to face education is far more important than privious one. Discuss both sides.

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Introduction
While
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 many individuals believe that the best way for
people
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 to communicate is through the
internet
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,
others
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 think communicating
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face to
Correct your spelling
face-to-face
face
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 is far more vital than communicating through the
internet
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. In my opinion,
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face to
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face-to-face
face
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communication
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 is better for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social interaction and
build
Wrong verb form
building
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 beneficial relationships with
others
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.
Body paragraph 1
One major reason why communities believe that communicating through the
internet
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 is the best way to contact is that it can be
more
Rephrase
apply
show examples
easier to interact with individuals and
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 vital environment for
express
Wrong verb form
expressing
show examples
 your opinion without being anxious.
This
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 is mainly because some
people
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 could have anxiety talking
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face to
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face-to-face
face
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 to other
people
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, which will lead to a lack of comfort and effective expressions. It is
also
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 possible to say that
people
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 who communicate through the
internet
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 can avoid being anxious and stressed during conversations.
For instance
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, if a person
where
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were
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 put into an important conversation and he faced difficulties
such
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 as being anxious and stressed, he will not be able to act well and
contact
Verb problem
communicate
show examples
 effectively with the conversationalist.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
others
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 believe that
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face to
Correct your spelling
face-to-face
face
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communication
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 is more important because it can help
people
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 understand each other better.
People
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 often have
this
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 opinion because talking directly is a good way for
people
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 to communicate with each other.
This
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 is mainly because
people
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 can see the other person's expressions and reactions during the conversation, which can make the
communication
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 easier.
As a result
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,
people
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 can build better relationships and feel more comfortable when they communicate with each other.
For example
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, when friends meet
face
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 to
face
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, they can talk about their problems and understand each other's feelings more clearly.
Conclusion
In conclusion, communicating through the
internet
Use synonyms
 can be easier for some
people
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, but I believe that
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face to
Correct your spelling
face-to-face
face
Use synonyms
communication
Use synonyms
 is more important because it can help
people
Use synonyms
 interact socially and build beneficial relationships with
others
Use synonyms
.

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task response
You discuss both views and give your own view. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why online talk can help shy people and why face-to-face talk is better in more cases.
task response
Some ideas are repeated, such as feeling anxious. Add a different point, for example that online talk saves time and helps people who live far away.
task response
Your examples fit the main ideas, but they are quite general. Give one clear real-life case and explain how it supports your point.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. For example, use “However” at the start of the second body part to show the change to the other view.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each sentence clear and direct. For example, change “the best way to contact” to “the best way to communicate,” and avoid long sentences with too many ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main point at the start of each body part more exact. Then give a reason, an example, and a short result in the same order.
task response
You answer the full question by discussing internet communication and face-to-face communication, and you clearly state your own view.
task response
Your point about seeing a person’s face and feelings in direct talk is clear and useful.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well ordered: the first body part gives one view, the second body part gives the other view, and the ending repeats your main view.
coherence and cohesion
You use helpful linking words such as “On the other hand,” “For instance,” and “As a result.”
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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