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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think governments should spend more money on public transport rather than building new roads. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Nowadays, a new topic has arisen in our society
:
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;
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 some people think
governments
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 should spend more money on public
transport
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 rather than building new
roads
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. Both views matter, depending on our needs and plans. I believe
governments
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 should spend more money on public
transport
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 than on new
roads
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 because public
transport
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 requires a smaller budget and less time.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, people's focus on public
transport
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 is important.
This
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 is because most countries need to maintain public
transport
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, and new public
transport
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 is needed to facilitate people's needs, like going to work and shopping, and to reduce congestion.
For example
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, in our town, we need new public
transport
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 systems because the one we have gives incorrect information about the next buses, so we have to check the website.
Therefore
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, the government should make a clear plan for new public
transport
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. From my point of view,
governments
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 should minimise illegal
transport
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 by setting up new regulations,
such
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 as fines.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, building new
roads
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 should be considered a second priority for all
governments
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.
In other words
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, in low-population countries,
governments
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 should prepare new infrastructure for the next generation to facilitate their lives.
For instance
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, in the western part of our country, especially in Anbar, we should focus on building new
roads
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 as a second priority after public
transport
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 to prepare for population growth.
This
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 creates a balance between public
transport
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 and road construction. From my perspective, the government should have a clear vision
about
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for
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 building new
roads
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion, both views show our needs and weaknesses that we need to fix.
Therefore
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, I believe public
transport
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 should be connected with building new
roads
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.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why public transport needs less money and less time. This point is not always true, so show why it is true in your city or country.
task response
Keep one clear opinion from start to end. The end says public transport should be connected with new roads, but your main view says it should get more money. Say clearly that roads are still needed, but public transport should get more money first.
task response
Use examples that clearly support each main point. The bus information example shows a problem, but explain how more public money would fix it, such as better bus signs, apps, or more buses.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part form: start, two main parts, and end. Make the links between ideas clearer. For example, after saying public transport can cut traffic, explain that fewer cars can mean less need for new roads.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph focus on one main idea. In the first main part, the point about illegal transport and fines feels separate from bus service and traffic. Move it to a new paragraph or connect it more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words with care. You use “For example”, “Therefore”, and “On the other hand” well. Avoid repeating “From my point of view”; state your view once in the start and then give reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Write a more direct end. Sum up both views in one or two sentences, then repeat your choice: public transport should come first, while new roads should be built only where there is a clear need.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you discuss public transport, new roads, and give your own view.
task response
Your ideas are linked to real public needs, such as work, shopping, traffic, and future growth.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it uses clear paragraph breaks and a clear order.
coherence and cohesion
You use helpful signposts, such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion”.
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