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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that university education should be free for everyone, regardless of their financial background. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It is often argued that higher
education
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 should be provided free of charge to all
students
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, irrespective of their financial circumstances.
While
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 I agree that
university
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education
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 should be accessible to people from disadvantaged backgrounds, I do not believe that making it entirely free for everyone is the most effective approach.
Body paragraph 1
One major argument in favour of free
university
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education
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 is that it can promote equality of opportunity.
Students
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 from low-income families may possess considerable academic ability but be unable to afford
tuition
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fees
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. If higher
education
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 were free, these individuals would have a greater chance of obtaining professional qualifications and improving their future career prospects.
This
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 could
also
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 benefit society as a whole, since countries would be able to develop a larger pool of highly educated workers in fields
such
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 as medicine, engineering and
education
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.
Body paragraph 2
However
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, providing free
university
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education
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 to everyone would place a substantial financial burden on governments. Public funds are limited, and money allocated to universities could
otherwise
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 be spent on essential services
such
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 as healthcare, public transport and primary
education
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.
Furthermore
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, wealthy families are generally capable of paying
tuition
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fees
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 themselves, meaning that universal free
education
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 could result in public money being used to subsidise people who do not actually need financial assistance. A more practical solution would
therefore
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 be to offer scholarships, grants or reduced
fees
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 to
students
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 from disadvantaged backgrounds
while
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 requiring those who can afford it to contribute towards the cost of their
education
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.
Body paragraph 3
In addition
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, charging reasonable
tuition
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fees
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 may encourage
students
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 to take their studies more seriously. When individuals make a financial investment in their
education
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, they may be more motivated to attend classes, complete their coursework and graduate on time.
Nevertheless
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,
tuition
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fees
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 should not be so high that they discourage capable
students
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 from poorer families from entering
university
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 free
university
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education
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 can improve social mobility and provide greater equality of opportunity, I believe that making it universally free is neither financially sustainable nor necessary. A system in which financially disadvantaged
students
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 receive substantial government support,
while
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 those who can afford
tuition
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 contribute to the cost, would be a fairer and more sustainable alternative.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start: free study should help poor students, but it should not be free for all. To make the answer even stronger, add one short real-life example, such as a bright student from a low-income home who can study medicine with a grant.
task response
Your main points are well chosen: equal chance, cost to the state, and a fairer plan. You could explain a little more why grants would work better than free study for all, for example by saying that help goes first to people who need it most.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: opening, reasons for, reasons against, and ending. Keep this strong plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words, such as “However”, “Furthermore”, “In addition” and “In conclusion”, help the reader follow your ideas. You could use fewer links in some places and join ideas more smoothly, so the writing feels less planned and more natural.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part stays on one main idea. The third body part about fees and student effort is useful, but it could link more clearly to your main point about a fair system of grants and fees.
task response
You answer the whole question and give a clear, steady view all the way through.
task response
The points about poor students, public money, and rich families are directly linked to the topic and are well explained.
coherence and cohesion
Your opening and ending match very well. The ending gives a clear final answer and repeats your main plan without copying the opening.
coherence and cohesion
The reader can follow the essay easily because each paragraph has one clear job and the ideas move in a logical way.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • equal chance
  • poor family
  • rich family
  • public money
  • state budget
  • higher education
  • skill training
  • better future
  • social class
  • qualified workers
  • economic growth
  • public service
  • student debt
  • pay the cost
  • fair system
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