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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year Off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages Of this?

4.5 / 9
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Introduction
Nowadays, many people argue with the idea of having a break between finishing high school and going to the university. So,
this
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 essay will demonstrate how a gap year can be beneficial for some students but
also
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 how it can lead to
complication
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complications
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 for them
after to
Correct word choice
when they
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 continue studying.
Body paragraph 1
A gap year can be very beneficial for
student
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students
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 after finishing high school. It can help them to travel, have work experience or just a break to unwind after all these pressures during 18 years.
For instance
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, in France, the president tried to encourage people to take a break
,
Punctuation problem
. In
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in addition
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, there are many forums presenting some specific programs of going abroad to work, to do volunteering, or just to find themself.
Finally
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,
It
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it
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 gives
the chance some humans
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some humans the chance
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 to discover other things that they learned, to understand the world.
Body paragraph 2
But
this
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 period of time can
also
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 lead to difficulties
to restart
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in restarting
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 studies after a long time without any academic pressure,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can encourage many humans to continue without doing some studies.
Furthermore
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, it can change the mindset about their future life, ambitions and decrease their motivation.
For example
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, in 2015, in Belgium, the education minister did not give
the opportunity to students
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students the opportunity
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 to do
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this
Correct determiner usage
a
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 gap year because
later
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apply
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it is difficult to integrate
a
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into a
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well-known university because of the strict selection
.
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process.
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Conclusion
To recapitulate,
this
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 period of time can be essential for some people but can create some difficulties for others to restart a new routine.
Finally
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, it depends on your goals and ambitions.

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task response
You answer both parts of the question. You show good points, such as travel, work, and rest, and bad points, such as less wish to study. To improve, explain each point more fully. For example, say how work can help a student choose a future job.
task response
Some ideas are too broad. Avoid phrases like “some humans” and use “students” or “young people”. Your example about France is not clear enough: explain what the plan was and how it helped students.
task response
Your Belgium example does not strongly prove that a gap year makes it hard to enter university. Use a clearer example, such as a student who loses study habits and finds the first term hard.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, one paragraph for good points, one for bad points, and an ending. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. “For instance” and “Furthermore” are useful, but some sentences do not join well. Start each main paragraph with a direct main idea, then give an explanation and one example.
coherence and cohesion
Make the ending stronger. Instead of only saying that it depends on goals, sum up the main good and bad points and state that students should plan their year off carefully.
task response
You discuss both the good and bad sides of a year off, so your answer stays on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The four-paragraph plan is clear: introduction, good points, bad points, and conclusion.
task response
You include examples from France and Belgium, which shows an effort to support your ideas.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • work experience
  • internships
  • traveling
  • life experiences
  • personal development
  • independent
  • self-reliant
  • educational progress
  • graduation timeline
  • financial burden
  • academic momentum
  • structured academic environment
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