In today's world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Introduction
Nowadays,
people
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are increasingly concerned about looking younger. I believe that
this
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obsession can have a negative impact on personal development, as it may harm one's natural
appearance
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and financial stability.
This
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article will discuss these points and elaborate on them in the following paragraphs.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand,
people
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spend a large amount of money on appearances, which happens mainly
due to
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social media influence and job marketing pressures. In modern society, social media platforms and advertising continuously promote idealised, youth images, creating a strong desire to fight against the natural ageing process.
Moreover
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, the modern job market often associates youth with energy, productivity, and innovation, pushing many individuals to invest in their
appearance
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to remain competitive in their careers. Ultimately, the advancement and widespread availability of cosmetic procedures and advanced skincare products have made youth-enhancing treatments more accessible, encouraging
people
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to view maintaining a youthful look as an achievable aim.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
this
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is largely a negative development because it reinforces unrealistic beauty standards and encourages
people
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to judge themselves based on their
appearance
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rather than their personal qualities.
While
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investing in one’s
appearance
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can boost confidence, the problem arises when looking young becomes a social expectation rather than a personal choice.
People
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may feel pressured to spend beyond their means on beauty treatments, not because they genuinely want to, but because they fear being seen as less attractive as they age. More importantly,
this
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obsession can create an endless cycle of dissatisfaction, since ageing is a natural process that no amount of money can permanently prevent.
Therefore
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, I believe that
although
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taking care of one’s
appearance
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is perfectly reasonable, society should value self-acceptance and inner qualities more than the pursuit of eternal youth.
Conclusion
To sum up
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,
although
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investing in one’s
appearance
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can undoubtedly boost self-confidence and even offer a competitive edge in certain fields, excessive spending on beauty products is not truly necessary and sustainable.
Instead
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, cultivating ability through training enables users to be respected, suggesting that a balanced lifestyle where health is appreciated most

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task response
You answer both parts of the question. To make your view stronger, add one clear real-life example, such as an older worker who feels they must buy skin care or have a face treatment to keep a job.
task response
Your main view is clear: this trend is mostly bad. Explain a little more about harm to money or health, so the reader can better see why it is a negative change.
task response
The last sentence is not finished and changes the focus. End with a full sentence that repeats your main view about the wish to look young.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: reasons first, then your view. Keep this plan, but make the final paragraph match the ideas in the body more closely.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” can sound like two equal sides, but the first body paragraph gives reasons and the second gives your opinion. Try “There are several reasons for this” and “However, I believe this is mainly negative” instead.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are long and hold many ideas. Split them into two shorter sentences to make the flow easier to follow.
task response
You give clear reasons for the trend, including social media, ads, work pressure, and easy access to beauty care.
task response
You make a clear point that looking after appearance can help confidence, but it becomes a problem when people feel forced to do it.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one main purpose, and your ideas move in a sensible order.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear links such as “Moreover”, “While”, “More importantly”, and “Therefore” to guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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