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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the only way to improve safety on our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Introduction
Body paragraph 1
Some people argue that
road
Use synonyms
 safety can only be improved by imposing much stricter punishments for driving offences. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view because severe penalties can discourage reckless behaviour,
although
Linking Words
 other measures are
also
Linking Words
 necessary to prevent accidents.
Body paragraph 2
Body Paragraph 1
Body paragraph 3
On the one hand, stricter punishments can make drivers more responsible for their actions. If motorists know that dangerous behaviour,
such
Linking Words
 as racing between cars or driving at excessive speeds, will result in serious consequences, they may be less likely to break traffic laws.
For example
Linking Words
, imposing heavy fines or suspending the licences of reckless drivers could discourage them from putting other
road
Use synonyms
 users at risk.
As a result
Linking Words
, the number of preventable accidents may decrease.
Body paragraph 4
Body Paragraph 2
Body paragraph 5
On the other hand
Linking Words
, punishment alone cannot eliminate every
road
Use synonyms
 accident. Some collisions occur because of unexpected medical emergencies or a driver’s momentary loss of concentration rather than deliberate recklessness.
For instance
Linking Words
, a driver who suddenly experiences a medical emergency may cause an accident without intending to endanger anyone. In
such
Linking Words
 cases, the circumstances should be assessed individually.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, improving
road
Use synonyms
 design and providing effective driving education could prevent accidents before they happen.
Body paragraph 6
Conclusion
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe that stricter punishments are an important way to improve
road
Use synonyms
 safety, particularly when dealing with reckless drivers.
However
Linking Words
, they should be combined with better education, safer roads and a fair assessment of genuine emergencies.

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task response
Your view is clear: you partly agree. To make it stronger, explain more fully why punishments cannot be the only answer. You could add how road checks, signs, and driver training stop danger before it starts.
task response
Your examples fit the main ideas. Add one more real and clear case, such as speed cameras or a safe-driving class, to show how another step can improve safety.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow, with a clear start, two main parts, and an ending. Keep this plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Your link words, such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “Furthermore”, guide the reader well. You can also link the last sentence of each part more closely to the main question about road safety.
coherence and cohesion
The second main part gives two different ideas: medical problems and other ways to stop crashes. You could give each idea its own short part, or make the link between them clearer.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and give a clear, balanced view. Your ending matches the view in your first paragraph.
task response
The points about reckless driving, health problems, road design, and driver learning are all on topic and useful.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main point, and the ideas move in a clear order.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both clear and help the reader understand your main view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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