IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You are moving to a new city for work and have just realized that an old friend lives in the city. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Ask them for advice in finding accommodation Tell them where you would like to live Tell them the type of place you are looking for You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ___,

4.5 / 9
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Dear Alex, I'm writing to ask you for
guidiance
Correct your spelling
guidance
 to find a room in your own city. As you know,I had an opportunity to work in your city and
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 like to ask you for a little assistance to find a safe room, as you are in the area. Actually, I would like to live in the town centre
not
Punctuation problem
, not
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 too far from
work
Punctuation problem
work,
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 since I work in
SAM
Add an article
the SAM
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 company
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is somewhat far from the quarter street.
This
Linking Words
 will be an opportunity for me to arrive earlier
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
this
Linking Words
 will permit me not to pay significant transport. As a matter of fact, I
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 prefer to live in a Local Hotel which is somewhere near the
metropol
Correct your spelling
metropolis
 city street. The place is reputable for
the
Correct article usage
its
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 quiet and entertaining.
This
Linking Words
 will be nice for me
going
Punctuation problem
, going
show examples
 to the shops there in case I need to buy food stuffs and do shopping when I arrive. I'm really waiting for your response. Lots of love! Axel.

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task response
Say more clearly what help you need. For example, ask Alex to look for rooms, share links, or tell you the usual price.
task response
Make the place you want more clear: a room or flat, how much you can pay, and when you need to move in.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between ideas, such as “First”, “Also”, and “Finally”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph on one main point: your move, the area you want, the home you need, and your closing.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple, natural phrases. For example, write “I would like to live in the city centre” and “I look forward to your reply.”
task response
You cover all the main points: you ask for help, say where you want to live, and describe the kind of place you need.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start, middle, and ending. The greeting and friendly closing fit a letter to an old friend.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accommodation
  • area
  • rent
  • flat
  • shared apartment
  • city centre
  • near my office
  • safe
  • quiet
  • low-cost
  • public transport
  • landlord
  • real estate agent
  • furnished
  • kitchen
  • internet
  • move in
  • daily travel
  • advice
  • recommend
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