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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that to learn a second language well, it is necessary to live in the country where that language is spoken. What is your opinion about this?

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It is thought by a selection of individuals that it is better for people who want to improve and develop their 2nd
language
Use synonyms
 proficiency to live in those countries directly. From my perspective, I strongly agree with
this
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 notion and my reasons will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching a conclusion. First and foremost, there are several positive effects to
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in those countries and the most crucial is that individuals have a chance to nudge themselves to socialise and communicate with natives. To elaborate
further
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, people who are going to learn
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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another
language
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 will have to
use
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 them in order to make new friends or purchase things from locals.
Moreover
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, the more they speak those
languages
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, the more they will get familiar with them and
therefore
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 they can
use
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 them effectively. An apt illustration of
this
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 is one of my friends who is now studying abroad in the UK, in the past, he barely spoke or thought in English;
however
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, we had a chance to catch up and he told me that he now mostly thinks and sees everything in English and hard to generate some words in Thai.
In addition
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, he said that he will go back to the UK as he has made tons of friends during his Master's degree.
Additionally
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, there is another clear merit to support my viewpoint and one of the most significant is that individuals need to
use
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 their other
languages
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 for learning and studying. To explain in greater detail, many schools and universities mostly
use
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 their 2nd
languages
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 to teach in classes;
as a result
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, foreign students have opportunities to enhance and sharpen their speaking, writing and listening
skills
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.
Furthermore
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, people can improve their reading
skills
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 by reading and delving into useful books or research written in those
languages
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. To specifically demonstrate, another friend of mine went to Germany to finish his Master's degree for two years and after he came back, his German
skills
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 dramatically rocketed up,
besides
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, he can write and speak without hesitating or delicating.
At the end
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 of the day, it is undeniable that going to live in those second
language
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 countries directly helps us sharpen our
language
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 proficiency
skills
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. In my opinion, it will give plenty of advantages to the population who is keen on learning second
languages
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 as they can be able to develop it in their daily lives
as well as
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 learning in schools and universities all the time.

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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from a stronger thesis statement in the introduction. This will help clarify your position from the outset.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the variety and complexity of your sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with your sentence length; some sentences are quite long and could be made clearer if broken down into shorter ones.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids in overall coherence.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, providing a complete response to the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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