IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It could be argued that technology makes our lives easier and simpler. But there are certainly people who feel life has become more complicated due to modern inventions. Which opinion do you agree with? In your essay, include supporting details.

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Introduction
A significant proportion of the population believed that digital platform beocome easier and more straightforward.
Nevertheless
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, other individuals considered that life has become more challenging owing to technological advancement. In
this
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 essay, I personally favour
this
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 statement.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, there are several types of positive influence towards artificial intelligent it can be seen that many
community
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communities
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 have easy communication with the help of technology , which is one of the primary factors to chat with each other. To take an example, at present most of the folk utilise different kinds of advancement gadgets
such
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 as Chat GPT, Google gemini and much more whatever
the
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 want to
about
Verb problem
know,
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 they can easily find without any reluctant that would be a massive advantage that can
also
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 prove that it is much easier than in the
last
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 decade. It is
also
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 a huge pros amonng the current generation particulary for the children. A recent survey which are conducted that most of the bodies are using distinct types of pros , so it would be beneficial for those
nation who
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nations that
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 are not aware of it.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, other believed that
due to
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 technology , life has become more complex, there are separate types of reasons that cause digital overload
Punctuation problem
. This
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this
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 would be substantial negative impact on
the
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apply
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society because many
society
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societies
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often using and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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spend most of
the
Correct article usage
their
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 time
spend
Verb problem
apply
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on it
Punctuation problem
. Consequently
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consequently
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, it will effect on psycholgical well-being. To preserve health, it should be balanced.
Moreover
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, data security is the main concern , as it ensures that it is safe under any condition , as without it is not possible to maintain balance.
Conclusion
To sum up
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, as per my perspective government has to focus on that as they can use both of them
it
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; it
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 should be balance, it can be understood that not much future should be spent on screen
time
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time,
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 if more time is
consumed
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consumed,
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then
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 it would be hazardous to health
,
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. Thus,
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thus
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 it is required , but not too much , as per
requirement
Add an article
the requirement
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.

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task response
Give one clear view in the first paragraph and keep it through the essay. You say you agree that technology makes life easier, but the last paragraph mainly warns about screen time.
task response
Explain your main ideas more fully. For example, say how online tools save time in work, study, shopping, or travel, then give one clear result.
task response
Use real and clear examples. The example about ChatGPT and Google Gemini is useful, but explain exactly what people do with them and why this makes life easier.
task response
Do not use a survey unless you can clearly say who took part, what it found, and how it supports your view. A simple example from daily life is often better.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduction, reasons for your view, the other view, and conclusion. This will help the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main point. The first body paragraph moves between communication, AI tools, children, and a survey, so it is hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words used in the right way: 'First', 'For example', 'As a result', 'However', and 'In conclusion'. Avoid very long sentences with many ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make the final paragraph state your answer clearly. Say that technology makes life easier overall, while people should use it with care.
task response
You discuss both sides of the topic and give your own view.
task response
You include relevant points about communication, AI tools, health, and data safety.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main body paragraphs, and a final paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
You use useful signposts such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'Moreover', and 'To sum up'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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