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Economic progress is one way to measure a country’s success. Some people believe that there are other factors should be considered when measuring the success of a country. What are the other factors? Do you think there is a factor that more important than

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Introduction
As society evolves, there has been an ongoing debate regarding the primary factor that should influence how a nation’s progress is evaluated. A group of individuals believes that economic progress is one way to measure a country’s success.
Conversely
Linking Words
, others argue that there are other factors that should be considered when measuring the success of a nation.
Therefore
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, ahead of my opinion, both views will be discussed
further
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.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, economic evolution brings several benefits to a state.
Firstly
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, economic growth creates more job opportunities and increases people’s incomes, allowing them to enjoy a better standard of living.
For example
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, people can earn more money and afford better housing and other basic needs.
Furthermore
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, a strong economy allows the government to collect more tax revenue and invest in infrastructure,
such
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 as roads and bridges.
As a result
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, economic advancement can help reduce poverty and improve people’s lives. These improvements can make daily activities more convenient and support
further
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 economic development.
Therefore
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, economic growth is essential for reducing poverty and improving living conditions, and it can lead to enhanced abilities and competition with other nations.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, education, healthcare, and
quality
Use synonyms
 of
life
Use synonyms
 are
also
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 important factors in measuring a country’s success. A successful country should ensure that its citizens enjoy a high
quality
Use synonyms
 of
life
Use synonyms
 and feel happy and secure. A pivotal aspect is that access to
quality
Use synonyms
 education enables citizens to develop essential skills and contributes to long-term improvement.
Moreover
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, an effective healthcare system improves public health, increases
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy and allows people to lead more productive lives.
Conclusion
In conclusion, there are various perspectives and arguments regarding the assessment of a nation's sustainable development.
However
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,
while
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 economic progress remains essential, a homeland’s achievement should primarily be measured by the
quality
Use synonyms
 of
life
Use synonyms
 it provides for its citizens.

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task response
Answer the full question more directly in the first part. Say clearly which factor is most important, not only in the last part.
task response
Give a clearer reason why quality of life is more important than money growth. For example, a rich country is not truly successful if many people are ill, unsafe, or unable to learn.
task response
Add one real or clear example for education, health, or safety. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your main order is clear: money growth first, then other parts of success, then your view. Keep this simple order.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first paragraph shorter and clearer. The phrase about discussing both views does not fully match the question, because the task asks for other factors and your view.
coherence and cohesion
Link the ideas in the second body paragraph more closely. Explain how good schools and health care lead to a better quality of life.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating similar ideas about economic growth, such as better lives, less poverty, and better living conditions, unless each point adds a new reason.
task response
You identify useful factors beyond economic growth: education, health care, and quality of life.
task response
Your final view is clear: a country should be judged mainly by the quality of life of its people.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, two main body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use helpful linking words, such as Firstly, Furthermore, Moreover, and In conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic progress
  • societal well-being
  • quality of life
  • healthcare accessibility
  • educational standards
  • innovation
  • environmental preservation
  • sustainable practices
  • political stability
  • governance
  • social equality
  • human rights protection
  • technological advancements
  • inclusive
  • ethical foundation
  • innovative edge
  • global technological progress
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