IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The internet has been an amazing invention which has changed the world. Some people think that is has made life better while others believe it has caused problems. Give the advantages and disadvantages of the internet.

6.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
The innovative technology of the
internet
Use synonyms
 was a changing-world thing. Nowadays, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe it has changed our lives for the better,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that
this
Linking Words
 technology is problematic and creates difficulties. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will talk about its benefits and drawbacks.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, the
Internet
Use synonyms
 is the best invention of 20st century, because of it's accessebility and comfort in
use
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 from distant and unurban city's can access all goods of centrals.
For instance
Linking Words
, in a few minutes person can make an order through online shopping and purchase anything from another country or even another continent.
Second,
Linking Words
the
Internet
Use synonyms
 makes up by far most of the world economy,
for example
Linking Words
 top ten companies of the World are technical companies, which is the literal definition of
internet
Use synonyms
.
Third,
Linking Words
only with
this
Linking Words
 technology , communication became easier than ever. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, you can gather
people
Use synonyms
 from different cities or countries in one online call and in a moment hear about their news.
However
Linking Words
, any discovery has another side to the coin.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
information
Use synonyms
 about every person is open and can be seen by anyone. A case in point is frauds and scammers who
use
Use synonyms
information
Use synonyms
 to blackmail
people
Use synonyms
 by threating of leaking
information
Use synonyms
 or
use
Use synonyms
 it to break the law in
people
Use synonyms
's positions.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many news channels spread fake and incorrect
information
Use synonyms
. By misleading
people
Use synonyms
, they may
use
Use synonyms
 it to their advantage,
for example
Linking Words
,
forge
Verb problem
to forge
show examples
 and interfere with elections .
Conclusion
In the summary, the
Internet
Use synonyms
 is a brilliant opportunity for the nation as a whole,
it
Correct word choice
as it
show examples
 benefits
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all fields
from
Punctuation problem
, from
show examples
 the economy to communication.
However
Linking Words
, any opening may be used in a worse way,not for the good of humanity

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both parts in the same way. You give good points for both sides, but explain more clearly how each point makes life better or causes harm.
task response
Use more real and clear examples. For example, say how online shopping helps people in small towns, or how false news can change what people think.
task response
Make your last part more direct. Say that the internet has many good uses, but people and governments must keep personal data safe and stop false news.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. Keep one main idea in each paragraph and explain it before you move to the next idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words more carefully: First, Also, For example, However, and In conclusion. Do not use too many link words in one long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are not fully linked. For example, the point about the top ten companies needs a clearer link to why the internet improves daily life.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid very long sentences. Split them into two or three short sentences so the reader can follow your meaning more easily.
task response
You discuss both the good and bad sides of the internet, including shopping, work, communication, privacy, crime, and false news.
task response
Your examples are on topic and help show what you mean, especially the online call and online shopping examples.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it has an introduction, a paragraph about benefits, a paragraph about problems, and a final paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
You use useful signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “For instance” to guide the reader.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • internet
  • online
  • connect
  • talk
  • chat
  • email
  • search
  • find
  • learn
  • study
  • information
  • facts
  • fast
  • easy
  • work
  • job
  • business
  • bank
  • shop
  • service
  • health
  • doctor
  • tips
  • news
  • game
  • movie
  • music
  • data
  • private
  • privacy
  • safety
  • security
  • password
  • account
  • login
  • scam
  • fraud
  • fake news
  • wrong information
  • virus
  • malware
  • hacking
  • screen time
  • limit
  • balance
  • rules
  • habits
  • careful
  • sources
  • trust
  • credible
  • verify
  • device
  • phone
  • computer
  • laptop
  • wifi
  • government
  • laws
  • digital divide
  • education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: