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Writing Samples
Band 8.5

The internet has changed the world and how people live. Give the advantages and disadvantages of the internet.

8.5 / 9
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Introduction
Within a single generation, the internet has transformed the way we learn, work and communicate, reaching almost every home and pocket on the planet.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine its two greatest benefits, instant access to knowledge and the ability to work from anywhere, before considering two serious drawbacks, the spread of false information and the erosion of face-to-face contact.
Body paragraph 1
The most significant advantage of the web is that it has placed the world's knowledge within reach of anyone with a connection. A student in a remote village can now follow lectures from leading universities free of charge, an opportunity that would have been unthinkable a generation ago. In Morocco,
for instance
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, young people in the Atlas mountains routinely study for national examinations through online lessons that their local schools cannot provide. Closely linked to
this
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 is the freedom to earn a living without travelling to an office. Designers, translators and programmers can serve clients abroad from a kitchen table, and,
as a result
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, talent that was once trapped in small towns can compete in a global market.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
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, these gains come at a considerable cost. The most troubling drawback is the ease with which false claims circulate. Because anyone can publish without an editor, rumours about health, politics or public safety spread faster than corrections, and many readers lack the time or training to tell reliable sources from unreliable ones.
Moreover
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, constant digital connection has weakened the bonds between people who share the same physical space. Families in Casablanca,
for example
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, increasingly sit together at dinner
while
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 each member scrolls through a separate screen, so that the conversation which once held the household together slowly fades.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the internet has opened the door to knowledge and employment on a scale never seen before.
However
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, it has
also
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 made misinformation easier to spread and genuine human contact easier to neglect, and whether its influence proves positive depends largely on how wisely each person uses it.

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task response
You answer all parts of the task. To make the answer even stronger, you could add one short idea about how people can use the internet in a safe and wise way.
task response
Your main ideas are clear: learning and work are good points, while false news and less real talk are bad points. Keep linking each example back to the main point, as you do here.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a very clear order: opening, two good points, two bad points, and a close. Keep using this simple plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
The links between ideas are smooth. Words such as “Closely linked to this”, “Nevertheless”, and “Moreover” help the reader follow your thought. Do not add too many link words, as your current use feels natural.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph stays on its own topic and gives a clear example. This makes the writing easy to read. In a future essay, you may use one shorter sentence after a long one for a more natural pace.
task response
You give a full answer with two clear good points and two clear bad points. The examples about online study in the Atlas mountains and family meals in Casablanca make your ideas real and easy to understand.
task response
Your final paragraph gives a fair view: the internet can help or harm, based on how people use it. This is a strong way to end the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The first paragraph tells the reader exactly what will be discussed, and the last paragraph brings those points together well.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are well planned. Each one begins with a clear main idea, then explains it and gives support.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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