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Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Some people believe that it is important for individuals to behave according to society's traditions and expectations, while others think that people should be free to follow their own way of life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

8.5 / 9
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Introduction
In every community, there is a tension between the customs inherited from previous generations and the wishes of individuals who want to live differently.
While
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 some argue that respecting established norms is essential for social harmony, others believe that personal freedom should take priority.
This
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 essay will examine both positions before arguing that traditions deserve respect, but only when they do not prevent citizens from making the fundamental choices of their own lives.
Body paragraph 1
Those who defend conformity point first to the stability it provides. Shared customs around marriage, family duty and public behaviour allow strangers to understand one another without explanation, and
consequently
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 they reduce conflict in daily life. In rural Morocco,
for instance
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, the practice of caring for elderly parents at home means that few old people are ever left without support. Closely linked to
this
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 is the sense of identity that inherited norms create. A person who follows the same celebrations and rituals as their grandparents feels part of something larger than themselves, which offers a security that purely individual choices rarely provide.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
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, there is a strong case for personal freedom. The most serious objection to rigid conformity is that it can trap individuals in roles they did not choose. Young women in Casablanca,
for example
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, still sometimes face pressure to abandon careers in order to marry early, even when their talents and wishes point in another direction.
Moreover
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, societies that never permit deviation cannot improve, because every reform in history, from the education of girls to the abolition of child labour, began with those who refused to behave as expected. In my view,
therefore
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, customs should guide but never command. A community is strongest when it preserves the traditions that bind its members together
while
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 allowing each person to decide the shape of their own life.
Conclusion
In conclusion, following society's expectations offers stability and belonging, yet strict obedience to them can stifle both personal fulfilment and social progress. On balance, individuals should honour their traditions without being imprisoned by them.

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task response
You discuss both sides in a full and fair way, then give a clear view. To make the answer even stronger, explain a little more why some traditions should still stay, not only why people need freedom.
task response
Your main ideas are clear and well developed. The examples about care for old parents and women’s work fit the topic well. Be careful that place-based examples sound true and not too broad; you can also use a more general example if needed.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a very clear shape: opening, one paragraph for each side, your view, and a final ending. Each paragraph has one main point and follows it well.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words well, such as “Nevertheless”, “Moreover”, and “In conclusion”. Keep using them with care, but do not add more just for style. The clear order of your ideas is already a strong point.
task response
Your opinion is clear from the opening and is repeated clearly near the end: traditions should guide people, not control them.
task response
You give useful reasons for both views: shared customs can bring support and a sense of belonging, while too much control can stop personal choice and change.
coherence and cohesion
The opening tells the reader exactly what the essay will do, and the final paragraph brings both sides together in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
The move from the first view to the second view is smooth, and the examples come after the points they support.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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