Some people believe that governments should provide free or low-cost housing for people who cannot afford it, while others think housing should be left to the private market. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
In most large cities, the price of a modest flat has risen far beyond what an ordinary salary can cover.
While
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some argue that the state should build and provide homes for those who cannot afford them, others believe that housing is a private matter best left to the market.
This
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essay will examine both positions before arguing that public housing is essential for the poorest families, provided it is well designed and does not replace private construction altogether.
Body paragraph 1
Those who favour public provision point first to the simple matter of fairness. A nurse or a bus driver keeps a city running, yet
such
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workers can no longer afford to live where they work. In Casablanca,
for instance
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, thousands of families still occupy informal settlements on the outskirts because no landlord will rent to them at a price they can pay. Closely linked to
this
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is the cost of doing nothing, since homelessness and overcrowding lead to illness and crime, and,
consequently
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, the state pays far more in hospitals and police than it would have spent on decent flats.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
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, critics raise objections that deserve attention. The most serious is that government estates are often badly built, so that within a decade they become the very slums they were meant to replace.
Moreover
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, when the government supplies homes cheaply, commercial developers may stop building for the lower end of the market, and the shortage grows worse. The tower blocks constructed on the edge of Rabat in the 1980s,
for example
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, are now among the most troubled neighbourhoods in the capital. In my view,
however
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, these are failures of design and management rather than of the idea itself, and a programme that builds smaller estates with shops and transport can avoid them.
Conclusion
In conclusion, leaving housing entirely to the market abandons the people who need help most, yet badly planned public estates create problems of their own. On balance, governments should provide homes for the poorest, but build them carefully and alongside private developers rather than
instead
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of them.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear view. To make your own view even stronger, say more about how the state should choose who gets help and how it can work with private firms.
task response
Your main ideas are clear and well explained. The examples from Casablanca and Rabat help, but make sure all examples are true or clearly given as possible cases.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and a clear end. Each paragraph has one main job, so the reader can follow your ideas with ease.
coherence and cohesion
You use links such as 'Nevertheless', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' well. Try not to use too many long sentences with several ideas; split one or two of them to make the flow even more clear.
coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph brings both sides together well. You could repeat your key condition in a more direct way: help for poor people, good homes, and work with private builders.
task response
You answer every part of the question: you explain the case for state help, the case for the private market, and your own view.
task response
Your view is clear from the start and stays the same to the end: public homes are needed, but they must be planned well.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is strong. You first show why public homes may be needed, then show the risks, and then give your answer.
coherence and cohesion
The links between ideas are natural, especially when you move from the cost of housing to the wider cost for the state.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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