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Writing Samples
Band 7

To meet the growing need for food by an increasing population, a country should make use of genetically engineered foods. However, some people believe that such foods are not only unhealthy but affect the nature too. Discuss both the view points and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Nowadays, the growing global population has increased the demand for
food
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. Some people believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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countries should use genetically engineered
foods
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 to meet
this
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 need,
while
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 others argue that these
foods
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 may be harmful to human
health
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 and the
environment
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both viewpoints, and I personally disagree with the former view.
Body paragraph 1
Genetically engineered
foods
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 can help increase
food
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 production and reduce crop losses, making them a potential solution to the growing demand for
food
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. Scientists can alter crops to improve their resistance to diseases and pests, enabling farmers to produce larger quantities.
For example
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, in Hawaii, scientists developed genetically engineered Rainbow papaya to protect the crop from a virus that threatened the local papaya industry.
However
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, despite these benefits, some people are concerned that genetically engineered
foods
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 may have unintended effects on the
environment
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,
such
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 as the spread of modified genes to wild
plants
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, which could affect biodiversity.
Therefore
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, the potential long-term environmental risks should be carefully considered.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, critics believe that genetically engineered
foods
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 may be harmful to human
health
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 and the
environment
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.
First,
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these
foods
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 may have unexpected effects on consumers,
such
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 as causing allergic reactions or other
health
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 problems that require
further
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 investigation.
In addition
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, genetically modified crops may spread to nearby
plants
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 and change the way they grow, which could affect other
plants
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 in the area and disturb the natural balance.
For instance
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, if genetically modified crops spread to wild
plants
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, they could change the local plant population and make it harder for some native
plants
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 to survive.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 genetically engineered
foods
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 may help increase
food
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 production, their potential effects on human
health
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 and the
environment
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 should not be ignored. I believe that countries should be cautious about using these
foods
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 and carefully consider their possible risks before making them a major solution to
food
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 shortages.

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task response
You cover both sides and give your own view. To make your view stronger, say more clearly why careful use is better than full use or no use.
task response
Your main ideas are clear: more food, less crop loss, health risk, and harm to nature. Add one more clear point about how food rules and tests can make use safer.
task response
The Hawaii papaya case is a good real example. Add a short link to show why this case supports your point about food needs.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. Each part stays on one main idea, so it is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The first main part gives a good point for engineered food, but then moves to its risks. This can make the part feel less clear. Keep all good points in one part and all bad points in the next part.
coherence and cohesion
Use a few more clear links between ideas, such as “As a result”, “In contrast”, and “For this reason”. Do not use too many.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas repeat, especially the risk of crops spreading to wild plants. Say this once in full, then use the space for a new point or a deeper reason.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and state your own view in both the start and the end.
task response
Your example of Rainbow papaya is specific and helps show how engineered crops can save food.
coherence and cohesion
The opening tells the reader what the essay will do, and the final part gives a clear summary of your view.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of words such as “For example”, “However”, “First”, and “In addition” helps the reader follow the ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Genetically engineered foods
  • Increasing population
  • Growing need for food
  • Unhealthy
  • Affect
  • Advantages
  • Disadvantages
  • Human health
  • Environment
  • Personal opinion
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