Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Introduction
Today, individuals of one country can get their favourite accessories even abroad. In
this
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way, all nations ressembels to on another. In my opinion, I firmly believe that it is a positive development.
Body paragraph 1
Finding beloved and habitual things in an outsider country can lessen the homesickness in visitors. People are more likely to get comfortable sooner in a new place by finding the similarity in products of their homeland.
Additionally
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, there are several international brands that are selling with the same quality all over the globe.
For instance
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, KFC is serving the nations at
large
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large,
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also
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, residents can reminisce and feel like their home
while
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sitting in an entirely different body. In
this
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way, their stress levels, anxiety and fear of being alone are reduced to a great extent. That's why it is a well-appreciated phenomenon.
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
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, International brands affect the economy of a country positively in several ways. The visitors and students buy their regular products and pay the specific tax amount to the government against that commodities.
Moreover
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, the E-Commerce industry of a specific land
also
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boosts when not only its own natives but
also
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foreigners shop online. Doing that, they both contribute to the well-being of the economy.
For example
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, a person can order time and time again from Amazon and
e-bay
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eBay
for getting the same thing anywhere in the world.
Also
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, it makes better experiences for
new comers
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newcomers
to a territory.
Conclusion
Having said that,
i
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I
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would like
to conclude
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by saying that
,
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apply
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international brands are giving different advantages in the ways that they increase the similarity of different countries , which contributes to ease for indigenous individuals and new arrivals to a particular piece of earth.

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task response
Give a clearer answer in the first paragraph. Say why this change is good, and name the two main reasons you will explain.
task response
Keep the main point on countries becoming alike. The first body paragraph is mostly about people who travel or live abroad, so explain more clearly how this shows the good side for countries as a whole.
task response
Develop the economy point with care. Explain how global shops bring jobs, tax, and more choice. Do not say that shopping again and again is proof by itself.
task response
Use examples that fit the point. KFC and online shops can work, but explain exactly how they help people or the local economy.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple plan: introduction, one paragraph about comfort for people, one paragraph about jobs and money, then a short conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one clear main idea. Then add an explanation and one example before moving to the next idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use link words more carefully. Words such as "For example", "Also", and "As a result" can make the links between ideas clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the word order or meaning is unclear. For example, rewrite unclear parts such as "feel like their home while sitting in an entirely different body" in a direct way.
coherence and cohesion
Make the conclusion shorter and clearer. Restate your view and the two reasons without adding new or very broad ideas.
task response
You give a clear overall view that this is a good change.
task response
You use two main ideas: people feel more at home abroad, and global brands can help the economy.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You try to support your ideas with examples, such as KFC, Amazon, and eBay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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