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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Space exploration requires a large amount of money. Some people believe that governments should invest in space exploration, while others think that money should be spent on solving problems on Earth. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

6.5 / 9
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Introduction
Whether
governments
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 should spend money on
space
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exploration
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 or focus on
problems
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 on
Earth
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 remains a subject of considerable debate.
While
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 some
people
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 believe that
space
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exploration
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 brings important benefits, others argue that human needs should come first.
This
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 essay will examine both views before explaining why I support prioritising
problems
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 on
Earth
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.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, supporters of
space
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exploration
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 argue that it can improve scientific knowledge and boost the economy.
This
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 is mainly because satellites help scientists forecast weather and warn
people
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 about natural disasters.
For example
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, satellites developed by the Indian
Space
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 Research Organisation (ISRO) help improve weather forecasting and provide warnings about severe storms.
In addition
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,
space
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 programmes can create jobs and generate income through new technologies and commercial services.
As a result
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, they can benefit both public safety and the national economy.
Therefore
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, it is understandable why many
people
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 believe that
space
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exploration
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 deserves financial support.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, others argue that
governments
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 should spend more money on solving
problems
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 on
Earth
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. The main reason is that many
people
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 still face poverty, serious diseases, and limited access to education and healthcare.
Although
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space
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exploration
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 has clear benefits,
governments
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 should invest more in medical research to find better treatments for diseases
such
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 as AIDS and cancer.
For instance
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, more funding could help hospitals provide affordable care, schools improve learning facilities, and communities gain access to clean drinking water.
Consequently
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,
people
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 could lead healthier lives and have better opportunities. For these reasons, I believe that solving
problems
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 on
Earth
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 should be the priority.
Conclusion
In conclusion, both views have their own merits.
However
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, I believe that
governments
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 should focus mainly on human needs because they require urgent attention. At the same time, some funding should remain available for
space
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 research and its potential benefits.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear view. To make your view stronger, say more clearly how much money should go to space and how much should go to needs on Earth.
task response
Your ideas are clear, but some points could go deeper. For example, explain how space work can help life on Earth, not only weather warnings and jobs.
task response
The examples fit the topic. Add one more real or clear example about poverty, health, or clean water to make the second side more strong.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: first one view, then the other view, then your own view. Keep this plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words, such as “For example”, “In addition”, and “Consequently”, help the reader follow your ideas. Do not use too many link words; make sure each one shows a real link.
coherence and cohesion
The last line adds a small new point about keeping some money for space. Put this balanced view in the main part too, so the end feels more fully supported.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you explain both views and clearly state that urgent needs on Earth should come first.
task response
Your points are relevant and easy to understand. The ISRO weather example is useful and fits your first main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea, and the opening and ending clearly guide the reader through the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your sentences flow well from cause to result, such as space work helping public safety and money for health improving people’s lives.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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