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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that old historical buildings should be maintained and protected, whereas others believe that they should be knocked down to make room for modern buildings. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate about whether historic
buildings
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 should be preserved or demolished for modern development.
While
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 some people believe that old
buildings
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 should be protected, others argue that demolishing them is more practical. In my opinion, historic
buildings
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 should be preserved whenever possible because of their cultural and historical value.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, supporters of demolishing historic
buildings
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 argue that maintaining them can be expensive and requires ongoing financial investment.
This
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 is mainly because old
buildings
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 often need regular repairs to remain safe and attractive. If proper maintenance is neglected, these
buildings
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 may become dirty and poorly managed, negatively affecting the country's reputation.
For example
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, tourists may feel dissatisfied when they visit historical sites that are littered or poorly maintained.
As a result
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,
this
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 may discourage visitors from returning and harm the tourism industry.
Therefore
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, some people believe that replacing old
buildings
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 with modern facilities is more practical.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, supporters of preservation argue that historic
buildings
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 represent a country's culture and history. The main reason is that these
buildings
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 help future generations understand their heritage and traditions.
For instance
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, restoring historical landmarks can attract tourists and create employment opportunities for local people.
Consequently
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, preserving these
buildings
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 can protect cultural identity and support economic growth.
Therefore
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, governments should invest in maintaining historic
buildings
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 whenever possible.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 demolishing historic
buildings
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 can reduce maintenance costs and provide space for modern development, I believe that preserving them is more beneficial because of their cultural and historical importance. Governments should consider restoration before deciding to demolish these
buildings
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.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear view. To make your answer stronger, explain more about why new buildings are needed. For example, they may give homes, schools, or work space to a growing city.
task response
Your main view is clear, but it could be more balanced. Say that some old buildings may be too unsafe or too costly to keep, while the most important ones should be saved.
task response
Your examples are useful but quite general. Add one real or clear example of an old site that brings visitors, jobs, and money to local people.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: opening, one paragraph for each side, and an ending. Keep this strong plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are used many times, such as “Therefore” and “As a result”. Use a wider range of simple links, such as “However”, “Also”, “For this reason”, and “In this way”.
coherence and cohesion
In the first main paragraph, the point about a country's name and tourists is not fully linked to the need for new buildings. Make the link clearer, or focus instead on safety, cost, and the need for land.
task response
You answer every part of the question: you show both views and clearly state your own view.
task response
Your ideas stay on the topic, especially the value of old buildings for history, culture, visitors, and jobs.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph starts with a clear idea, so the reader can follow your argument easily.
coherence and cohesion
The ending clearly repeats your view and gives a sensible next step: try to repair buildings before knocking them down.
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