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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that old buildings should be protected because they are an important part of a country's history. Others think that they should be demolished and replaced with modern buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
I strongly believe that historically significant
buildings
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 should be preserved,
although
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 not every old structure deserves protection.
Body paragraph 1
Buildings
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 that reflect a country's cultural heritage can provide future generations with a tangible connection to the past,
while
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buildings
Use synonyms
 that have little historical or architectural value can reasonably be replaced.
Body paragraph 2
The main reason for preserving important old
buildings
Use synonyms
 is their cultural and historical significance. Unlike information in textbooks, historic structures allow people to experience the past in a physical and meaningful way. They can
also
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 contribute to a city's identity and attract tourists, generating income for local businesses.
For example
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, historic districts often become major tourist attractions because visitors are interested in their architecture and heritage. Preserving
such
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 places can
therefore
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 benefit both society and the local economy.
Body paragraph 3
However
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, some old
buildings
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 may be unsafe, inefficient or unsuitable for modern needs. Maintaining them can
also
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 be extremely expensive, particularly when extensive structural repairs are required. In
such
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 cases, demolishing an outdated building and replacing it with a modern, energy-efficient structure may be a more practical option. The key issue should not be the age of a building but its historical, architecturat and social value. Governments could assess these factors before deciding whether a structure should be protected.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe that
buildings
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 with genuine historical or cultural importance should be preserved,
whereas
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 those without significant value can be replaced. A balanced approach would allow cities to modernise without unnecessarily sacrificing their heritage.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start and stays the same: keep old buildings with real value, but replace those with no clear value. To make the answer even stronger, add one more real or clear example, such as a famous old building in a city and what it gives to local people.
task response
The main ideas are well explained. You could make the point about how a building is judged more exact. For example, say who should make the choice, what facts they should look at, and how local people can share their views.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a very clear order: your view, reasons to keep old buildings, reasons to replace some, and a final answer. Each paragraph has one main point, which makes it easy to read.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words are used well, especially “However”, “For example”, and “In conclusion”. You could also link the two body parts more closely by saying that safety and cost should be checked only after a building’s past value has been considered.
coherence and cohesion
Check small word errors carefully. “architecturat” should be “architectural”. Small errors like this do not stop understanding, but careful checking will make the writing look more polished.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give a clear, balanced opinion. The idea that age alone should not decide a building’s future is strong and well stated.
task response
The points about history, city life, travel, safety, cost, and modern needs are all relevant and useful.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and final paragraph match well. The final paragraph clearly repeats your main view without copying the same words.
coherence and cohesion
The body paragraphs are easy to follow, and the examples support the main ideas in a natural way.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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