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Writing Samples
Band 7

whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#someone #luck
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What has been called into question is whether achieving goals is
result
Add an article
the result
a result
show examples
 of luck or not. I firmly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because success requires striving and setting a clear
plan
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. One of the most obvious reasons for reaching purposes is that it needs perseverance and determination. Overcoming barriers and obstacles,
such
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 as fear of failure, external distractions, and time management, enables individuals can push through challenges.
This
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 allows them to avoid negative thinking identify any gaps in achieving aims and focus on what they want to succeed.
This
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 not only helps people reach their targets but
also
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 enhances performance future. Cristian Ronaldo, who is the symbol of hard work, became one of the best players through rigorous training,
for example
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. Another compelling reason for
this
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 perspective is that people set a clear
plan
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. By setting clear objectives, creating a
plan
Use synonyms
 of action, and frequently working towards their aims, individuals can progress regardless of luck. By doing so, people can develop valuable skills and traits that can help them navigate future challenges and pursue their goals and aspirations. Apart from that, having a
plan
Use synonyms
 in life, in turn, decreases the risk of mental health issues
such
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 as anxiety and depression decrease and
also
Linking Words
 helps them to achieve their dreams faster.
While
Linking Words
 some may argue that luck plays a part in achieving goals, given the lack of preparation for unforeseen circumstances.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I believe
this
Linking Words
 is not a valid reason, thanks
to
Change preposition
that
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 one’s success relies on hard work and having strategic plans. In conclusion, I strongly believe that success is not random, particularly in terms of making and planning
Submitted by hongminh317 on

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Language
Work on minor grammatical issues and word choice to enhance clarity.
Coherence
Ensure each idea is clearly linked to previous and next ideas to improve fluidity.
Task response
Provide more specific examples or data to support your claims further.
Argument
Strong, clear stance presented in the essay.
Examples
Use of relevant examples like Cristiano Ronaldo adds value.
Structure
Well-structured paragraphs with clear main points and supporting details.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • diligence
  • consistent effort
  • inherent talent
  • honing skills
  • external factors
  • upbringing
  • social connections
  • economic background
  • right place at the right time
  • contributing factor
  • conjunction
  • success
  • achievements
  • endeavors
  • fortune
  • serendipity
  • determinants
  • efficacy
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