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Band 4

Many people support use of animals for testing medicines for humans. Others believe it is not appropriate to use animals for such experiments. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
The issue of whether using
animals
Use synonyms
 for testing
medicines
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 for humans are beneficial notion has been the subject of considerable debate in recent years. Some people believe that it is not appropriate to
use
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animals
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 for
such
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 experiments,
while
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 others argue that it is a good idea to test
medicines
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.
This
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 essay will examine both perspectives before offering my own opinion.
Although
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 both arguments have their merits, I firmly believe that it is not
suitable
Add an article
a suitable
show examples
 idea to
use
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animals
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 for testing
medicines
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 for
humens
Correct your spelling
humans
.
Body paragraph 1
On one hand, those who advocate that it is a useful idea to
use
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animals
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 for testing
medicines
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 argue that it is the only way
for testing
Wrong verb form
to test
show examples
medicines
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. The main reason is that if scientists do not
use
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animals
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 for testing
medicines
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, people can not trust
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
use
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 any
medicines
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.
Furthermore
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, using
animals
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 for testing
medicines
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 not only can help individuals to trust using
medicines
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, but it
also
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assist
Correct subject-verb agreement
assists
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 scientists
observe
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in observing
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 if there are other side effects.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, many who hold the belief that it is not appropriate to
use
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animals
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 for
such
Linking Words
Use synonyms
experments
Correct your spelling
experiments
 emphasise that many
animals
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 may face the threat of extinction. The main factor is that the
animals
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 might die
at
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in
show examples
 the
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experments
Correct your spelling
experiments
.
In addition
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, using
animals
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 for
such
Linking Words
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experments
Correct your spelling
experiments
 not only affects animal life, but it
also
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 might impact
on
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apply
show examples
individuals` sources of food.
For instance
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, if scientists kill a lot of chickens at there
experments
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, the individuals can not eat eggs.
Conclusion
To sum up
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,
while
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 there are valid arguments on both sides, I firmly believe that it is not
suitable
Add an article
a suitable
show examples
 notion to
use
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animals
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 for testing
medicines
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 for
humens
Correct your spelling
humans
. The reasons outlined above clearly demonstrate that it might affect people`s sources of food and
threat
Replace the word
threaten
animals
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 to being extincation.

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task response
You answer both sides and give your own view. To improve, explain each main idea more fully. For example, say why animal tests may help find harm before a drug is given to people.
task response
Your view is clear, but some reasons are too broad. The idea about food is not very strong because test animals are not usually the same animals that people use for food. Use a more direct reason, such as pain, death, and the fact that animals cannot agree to the tests.
task response
Use one clear example that fits your point. You could say that a new drug may cause harm to the heart or liver, so tests may show this before people take it.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: start, one view, other view, and end. Keep this shape, but make each body part focus on one main idea and then explain it with a reason or example.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas are good, such as “On one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “To sum up”. Use fewer repeated words like “using animals for testing medicines”. You can also write “animal tests”, “these tests”, or “such work”.
coherence and cohesion
Make cause and result links clearer. For example: “As a result, doctors can avoid giving unsafe drugs to people.” This will help the reader follow your ideas more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence form and word use, as these sometimes make your meaning hard to follow. For example, write “is a beneficial idea”, “humans”, “experiments”, “cannot trust medicines”, and “threaten animals with extinction”.
task response
You discuss both views and clearly state your own view in the start and the end.
coherence and cohesion
The order of your ideas is easy to follow, and each body part has a clear side of the discussion.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words well to show contrast and to end the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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