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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams like football, while other people thinuk that taking part in individual Sports like Tennis Or swimming is better .discuss both view and give your opinion

7.0 / 9
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Introduction
The debate over whether
team
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sports
Use synonyms
 or individual disciplines yield greater benefits is a subject of ongoing discussion.
While
Linking Words
 group-oriented games like football foster essential social dynamics and cooperative abilities, individual pursuits
such
Linking Words
 as tennis or swimming offer unique advantages in personal discipline and self-reliance. In my opinion,
although
Linking Words
 individual
sports
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 are invaluable for building personal accountability,
team
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sports
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 ultimately provide a more holistic developmental experience
due to
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 the interpersonal skills they cultivate.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, proponents of
team
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sports
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 argue that collective games are instrumental in shaping social competence. Participating in disciplines like football necessitates constant communication, strategic coordination, and mutual support among teammates.
Consequently
Linking Words
, individuals learn how to negotiate conflicts, suppress personal egos for a common objective, and
empathize
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empathise
show examples
 with others—skills that are directly transferable to academic and professional environments.
Furthermore
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, the shared camaraderie derived from collective victories and defeats builds deep social bonds and a sense of belonging, which contributes positively to
overall
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 mental well-being.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, advocates for individual
sports
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 highlight the distinct psychological and physical rewards of solo
endeavors
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endeavours
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. Activities
such
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 as swimming or tennis place the entire burden of success or failure squarely on the shoulders of the practitioner.
This
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 dynamic nurtures profound self-discipline, resilience, and mental toughness, as athletes cannot rely on peers to compensate for their shortcomings.
Moreover
Linking Words
, individual
sports
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 allow participants to progress at their own pace,
customize
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customise
show examples
 training schedules without relying on others, and develop a strong sense of personal agency and self-efficacy.
Conclusion
In conclusion, both
team
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 and individual
sports
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 offer significant merits; group activities excel at cultivating teamwork and communication,
whereas
Linking Words
 solo
sports
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 champion independence and personal drive. Weighing both perspectives, I believe that
team
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sports
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 hold a slight edge in terms of holistic growth, as navigating complex social landscapes is an indispensable life skill in our increasingly interconnected world.

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task response
Your view is clear and stays the same from start to end. To make it even stronger, add one more real-life example. For example, say how a student may learn to work with others through a football match.
task response
Both sides are explained well. You could also state more clearly why social skills are more important than self-control in daily life. This would make your final view feel more fully proved.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a very clear order: opening, team sports, solo sports, and ending. Each part has one main idea, so it is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words, such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “Furthermore”, and “Moreover”, are used well. Try not to use too many long sentences in one row; one or two shorter sentences could make some points easier to read.
coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph gives a clear summary and repeats your own view. It would be even smoother if it briefly linked back to the key points: working with others and personal responsibility.
task response
You discuss both team sports and individual sports in a fair way, then give a clear personal view.
task response
Your ideas are on topic and well developed. Football, tennis, and swimming are good examples for this question.
coherence and cohesion
The main points move in a clear and natural order, and each body paragraph stays focused on one side.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and ending are strong. They clearly show the topic and your final view.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cooperation
  • Camaraderie
  • Teamwork
  • Shared responsibility
  • Personal goals
  • Individual glory
  • Self-reliance
  • Flexibility
  • Well-rounded
  • Athlete
  • Personal preference
  • Participation
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