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Band 6.5

The charts below give information about the age of visitors from the UK to Spain in 1983 and in 2003.

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The charts below give information about the age of visitors from the UK to Spain in 1983 and in 2003.
The
given two pie charts
Correct word order
two pie charts given
show examples
 compare the percentage of different
age
Use synonyms
 visitors
form
Use the right word
from
show examples
 the UK to Spain in two
years
Use synonyms
 (1983 and 2003).
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 all
figures
Use synonyms
 showed an upward trajectory throughout the period, with the exception
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 middle-aged people and younger adults,
Use synonyms
both
Correct pronoun usage
who both
show examples
 experienced a decline. It is
also
Linking Words
 evident that middle-aged individuals had the highest proportions in
both
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
youngest
Add an article
the youngest
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 group witnessed the most dramatic growth among the others. In detail, the share of
0
Add an article
the 0
show examples
-16
age
Use synonyms
 bracket accounted for 10% in 1983, compared with 16% over 55
years
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
however
Capitalize the word
However
show examples
,
both
Use synonyms
 of these
figures
Use synonyms
 showed an increasing pattern, 0-15
age
Use synonyms
 group rose by 11 percentage points, reaching its peak of 15% by 2003.
In addition
Linking Words
, those who were over 55
years
Use synonyms
increased
Correct word choice
old increased
show examples
 steadily to 26% over a 20-year span.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the figure for
16
Add an article
the 16
show examples
-24
age
Use synonyms
 group represented 10% in 1983, before rising by 2 ratio points, to 12% by the end of the period.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 trend, the remaining
figures
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 were 25-34 and 34-54,
both
Use synonyms
 of which experienced a decrease. Indeed, those who were 34-53
years
Use synonyms
 stood at 20% in the initial year, compared with
solid
Add an article
a solid
show examples
 50% for 55+
years
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
both
Use synonyms
 of these
figures
Use synonyms
 demonstrated a downward trend, the 25-34
age
Use synonyms
 bracket falling to 12% by the end of the timeframe.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the category for over 55
years
Use synonyms
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 had the largest fraction at 50
%
Punctuation problem
%,
show examples
declined slightly by 15 proportion points, to 35% over a 20-year period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, years, figures, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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