It is important for all the cities and towns to have large outdoor public spaces, such as parks or squares. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Introduction
In the modern era, having parks and open spaces in your town has become an essential part of living in today's society.
Although
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the government doesn't have extra funds to expand the outdoor spaces, it is a very important part for a human being to have green space near their place. In
this
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essay, I totally agree with the statement of having parks and gardens in the town.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
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,
while
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the technological life of today's world makes your schedule very hectic, trees and plants help you feel relaxed from all
this
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chaos.
Additionally
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, trees have a good amount of oxygen to produce, which helps to level the temperature every afternoon.
Secondly
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, old people always prefer to walk on the grass in the morning to improve their blood circulation throughout the day.
For example
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, from the survey 2022, 85% of the childress suffers from eye diseases and other health issues
due to
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less physical activity.
Body paragraph 2
Lastly
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,
due to
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the sedentary lifestyle of people, natural spaces become a meditation place for them.
Moreover
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, many young men and women prefer to walk in the morning in the open space to improve their health.
Also
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, morning walks not only improve your heart health but
also
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enhance your immune system. Children can play games in the garden, which is now impossible
due to
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online gaming and social media.
Conclusion
In a nutshell,
while
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a sedentary lifestyle gives you many diseases,
such
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as diabetes, thyroid and blood-related issues, parks and squares help you to enhance your immune system in a better way. The government should build more gardens so that people of all ages can get their essential benefits.

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task response
Your view is clear: you agree that towns need parks and open spaces. To make the answer stronger, explain more fully why this is important for all people, not only for health.
task response
Your main ideas are useful, but some need clearer support. For example, explain how parks can help city life by giving people a safe place to meet, rest, walk, and play.
task response
The survey example is not clear and has a grammar problem. Use a simple, believable example, or explain the link between less outdoor play and health problems more carefully.
task response
The point about government money in the first part is not developed. Either explain why parks are worth the cost or remove this idea.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an ending. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Each main part should begin with one clear main idea. The first part mixes stress, air, heat, old people, and children. Split these ideas or give one main focus to the paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Lastly' should show a clear order. In the first body part, 'Secondly' starts a new idea but it is still in the same paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same health point in many lines. Add a different point, such as parks helping people meet others, to make the essay flow better.
task response
You answer the question directly and keep the same view from the start to the end.
task response
You give relevant ideas about stress, exercise, children’s play, and health.
coherence and cohesion
The ending restates your main view and gives a clear message about what the government should do.
coherence and cohesion
Simple link words such as 'Additionally', 'Moreover', and 'For example' help show how some ideas are connected.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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