More and more people in developed countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problem dose this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?

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It is universally acknowledged that technological development has significantly improved the world, leading to a higher standard of living. After fulfilling basic needs
such
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as food and shelter, people in developed countries tend to pursue an upgraded lifestyle, with
cars
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often becoming a primary choice.  Despite the convenience
cars
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provide, the rapidly growing number of vehicles has raised increasing concerns.
Firstly
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, driving
cars
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contributes to air pollution by emitting harmful gases,
such
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as carbon dioxide, which
further
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degrades the environment.
Secondly
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, the rise in the number of
cars
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on the road leads to traffic congestion, reducing transportation efficiency, causing delays, and increasing frustration. In severe cases, traffic jams can even result in accidents.  To address these issues, government intervention is essential. Stricter regulations should be introduced to make car ownership and acquiring a driver's license more difficult. Implementing stricter qualifications and imposing more limitations on car purchases are steps worth considering.
Additionally
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, phasing out vehicles that are over 20 years old can help reduce emissions.
Finally
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, promoting the use of public transportation,
such
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as buses and subways, is crucial in alleviating traffic congestion. In conclusion,
while
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car ownership continues to rise, efforts must be made by both governments and individuals to mitigate the negative impacts of
cars
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. By doing so, we can foster a flourishing yet orderly society.

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task achievement
While the essay effectively addresses the problems caused by increased car ownership and suggests several solutions, it could benefit from providing a few more specific examples or data to support some of the points made. This would enhance the argument's persuasiveness.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure and flows logically, but the transition between paragraphs could be made smoother. Consider using more transitional phrases to guide the reader between points or sections more seamlessly.
structure
The essay is well-organized, with a strong introduction, well-developed body paragraphs, and a clear conclusion. All parts work together harmoniously.
clarity
The ideas presented are clear, comprehensive, and relevant to the topic. The essay provides a complete response to both parts of the task question.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emissions
  • greenhouse gases
  • commute
  • infrastructure
  • urban sprawl
  • reliability
  • incentivize
  • subsidies
  • mixed-use developments
  • compact city
  • sustainable
  • viability
  • stricter
  • exacerbating
  • deteriorating
  • habitat destruction
  • tax rebates
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