In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

7.0 / 9

Band scoreView breakdown ↓

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →

Introduction

There is an increase in the number of elderly people in many nations. It is argued whether

this

Linking Words

phenomenon creates challenges for the governments or is beneficial to society.

Although

Linking Words

having an ageing population affects

government

Use synonyms

spending, I believe that having a larger older generation is a positive indication of the well-being of the community , which outweighs the drawbacks.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, having ageing citizens places greater demands on

government

Use synonyms

expenditure. Because the state will have to allocate more fundings twoards retierment pension and retirement homes that house these individuals,

therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will shift the country's budget priorities away from future-oriented investments.

For instance

Linking Words

, a rise in the ageing community increases demands for medical care,

consequently

Linking Words

, which may raise expenditure on hospitals and chronic disease management.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, I contend that the benefits of an ageing population ultimately surpass these challenges.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

Linking Words

, having an ageing population is an indication of a healthy society. Since enhancing longevity often requires adopting a holistic lifestyle, the

government

Use synonyms

can encourage

this

Linking Words

by implementing more walkable spaces and ensuring nutritional standards.

This

Linking Words

might reduce the spread of chronic illnesses among citizens;

therefore

Linking Words

, it will increase their life expectancy.

For example

Linking Words

, it is medically proven that regular exercise and following a plant-based diet may lower the chances of diabetes and heart diseases that threaten individuals' lives and longevity.

Conclusion

In conclusion, even though having more elderly within the socity affect

government

Use synonyms

spending, I believe it has more advantages as it indicates the well-being of the society.

reeghalghofaily

Nov 3, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Give a clearer answer to the main question. You say the good points are stronger, but explain more fully why they are stronger than the cost to the state.

task response

Develop the main good point. A long life can show good health care and living conditions, but this does not by itself show why more old people bring direct benefits to society. Add points such as their help with family care, work, or sharing skills and life knowledge.

task response

The example about exercise and a plant-based diet is about how people can live longer. It is not a clear example of a benefit after there are more old people. Use an example that directly supports your view.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear opening, two main body parts, and an ending. Keep this plan, but make the link between each idea more direct.

coherence and cohesion

In the first body part, state the problem first, then explain it, then give one example. Avoid long sentences with too many links, such as “Because ... therefore ...”.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words with care. “For instance” and “consequently” are useful, but do not use both when one is enough. Also, do not start a contrast with “On the other hand” when the first paragraph already says “Nevertheless” and gives your view.

coherence and cohesion

Check small word and spelling issues that can make ideas less clear: use “funds” or “funding”, “towards”, “retirement”, “society”, and “affects”. Remove extra spaces before commas.

task response

You answer both sides of the topic and give a clear final view that the benefits are greater.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction gives the topic and your view, while the conclusion returns to the same view. This makes the essay easy to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Each body paragraph has a main focus: state cost in the first and health in the second. The use of examples helps the reader follow your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

7.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people believe that the best way to encourage children that have a healthy diet at school and some people believe that parents should teach them to have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is an ongoing debate about which one has a more important role in teaching children about having a healthy diet, School or parents? While some people contend that children should be encouraged to have a healthy diet through school lessons, I believe that parents play a more crucial role in this matter and I will elaborate on my opinion.
6
band
Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. What is the cause of this? What can be done?
With an ever-increasing concern about maintaining good health, the engagement in unhealthy activities among the public becomes an issue to be solved. This essay, therefore, will convey some causes and potential solutions to be implemented.
7.5
band
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for e.g. working for a charity improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Some people think that schools must set up programs for students to participate in community service without earning money. I do agree with this statement because not only students can exploit this chance but also students realize how to manage their time better.
8
band
Some people get into debt by buying things and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?
It is argued that some would borrow money to purchase new items without the need for it and it is expensive. I believe that the main reason behind this attitude is shopping addiction, and the perfect solution is the start a publicity campaign.
7
band
All university undergraduate courses should include a period of time spent studying abroad or doing a work placement. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Many people believe that all university students should complete a period of study abroad or work placement before graduation. Although this policy has some drawbacks, I believe its long-term educational benefits clearly outweigh the disadvantages.

Some people believe that the best way to encourage children that have a healthy diet at school and some people believe that parents should teach them to have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. What is the cause of this? What can be done?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for e.g. working for a charity improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people get into debt by buying things and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

All university undergraduate courses should include a period of time spent studying abroad or doing a work placement. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?