IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

(CGPT)A The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
Governments are often urged to encourage alternatives to private cars and introduce international laws to control
car
Use synonyms
 ownership and use. I largely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 approach. Support for alternative transport should depend on its likely benefits in each area, and individual countries should decide how to regulate cars.
Body paragraph 1
More frequent buses on busy routes can persuade commuters to leave their cars at home. The benefits of a new service,
however
Linking Words
, depend on whether it takes people where they need to go.
For example
Linking Words
, a new rail line in a sparsely populated area could require substantial public funding for both construction and operation. If the stations were far from where people live or work, many residents would continue driving. The area would
then
Linking Words
 have a costly new service with little reduction in traffic or emissions. Governments should
therefore
Linking Words
 estimate how many
car
Use synonyms
 journeys a project would replace before committing public funds.
Body paragraph 2
A common cap on
car
Use synonyms
 ownership or a restriction on when people can drive would affect communities differently, depending on the transport available. A one-
car
Use synonyms
-per-household limit,
for example
Linking Words
, might be manageable in a city with frequent buses and trains. In rural areas, two adults in the same household may each need a
car
Use synonyms
 if they work in different towns. Countries with many
car
Use synonyms
-dependent communities would have good reason to seek exemptions, making it harder to agree on and enforce a common standard.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I support promoting alternatives to driving where the expected benefits justify the cost. I oppose common international restrictions on
car
Use synonyms
 ownership and use because national and local authorities are better placed to judge what their communities need.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start and stays the same. To make it even stronger, say more about why a world law would not work, such as how it could be hard to check and may not be fair to all people.
task response
Your examples are clear and fit your main ideas. Add one more real or more detailed example of a city or country where buses or trains have helped cut car use.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, two main parts, and ending. Each main part has one main point, which makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Links such as “For example”, “however”, and “therefore” work well. You could use a few more simple links between ideas in the second main part, so the move from city life to rural life feels even smoother.
coherence and cohesion
The ending gives your full view again and matches the opening. Keep this clear style, but avoid repeating the same words like “car ownership and use” too often; you can sometimes say “rules for cars” instead.
task response
You answer both parts of the question: you support other ways to travel when they help, but you do not support one world set of rules for cars.
task response
Your main points are well explained. The point about people in rural areas needing more than one car is fair and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear main idea and useful support. The reader can follow your line of thought with ease.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and ending clearly show your position, and the ending brings both main ideas together well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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