Research has shown that overeating is as harmful as smoking. Therefore, the advertising of certain food products should be banned in the same way as the advertising of cigarettes in some countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

6.5 / 9

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Introduction

Nowadays, the range of food options has expanded significantly across many countries, contributing to an overeating crisis

that is

Linking Words

arguably as harmful as smoking.

Consequently

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, some people contend that

advertisements

Use synonyms

for unhealthy foods should be strictly restricted, and I fully support

this

Linking Words

statement for several key reasons.

Body paragraph 1

To begin

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with, children are particularly susceptible to deceptive food marketing because they lack the emotional maturity and critical thinking skills required to evaluate nutritional claims.

Due to

Linking Words

this

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limited cognitive capacity, young viewers often struggle to distinguish between wholesome ingredients and junk food.

For instance

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, fast-food commercials frequently pair nutrient-poor meals with vibrant

colors

Change the spelling

colours

show examples

and a cheerful atmosphere to attract young consumers. Children rarely

realize

Change the spelling

realise

show examples

that frequent consumption of

such

Linking Words

foods significantly elevates their risk of obesity and chronic diseases.

Therefore

Linking Words

, restricting

advertisements

Use synonyms

for unhealthy items is imperative to protect children’s well-being.

Body paragraph 2

In addition

Linking Words

, commercial

advertisements

Use synonyms

continuously

utilize

Change the spelling

utilise

show examples

catchy music and exaggerated visuals to captivate consumers, often impairing their decision-making process

while

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shopping. Saturated with these persuasive promotions, individuals are easily prompted to purchase products beyond their actual nutritional needs. My own experience serves as a compelling illustration of

this

Linking Words

effect.

Although

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I am fully aware that sugary beverages contain artificial

flavors

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flavours

show examples

and harmful additives, watching brilliantly staged drink commercials still triggers an instantaneous urge to purchase them. Restricting these

advertisements

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would

thus

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reduce unnecessary temptations and foster more rational dietary choices.

Conclusion

In conclusion, banning or regulating

advertisements

Use synonyms

for harmful foods is a necessary public health intervention.

This

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policy not only shields impressionable children from deceptive messaging but

also

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prevents general consumers from making impulsive, unhealthy choices.

winniekirsty

Nov 7, 2026

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task response

Make your main view even more exact. Say if you want a full ban for all such food ads, or rules for some foods and some groups, such as children.

task response

Explain more clearly what food should be called harmful. For example, name foods high in sugar, salt, or fat. This will make your view more complete.

task response

Add one short point about why a ban may not be enough. For example, food lessons at school and clear food labels can also help people eat less.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear order: main view, two reasons, and a final summary. Keep this strong plan.

coherence and cohesion

Link the second body paragraph more closely to the first. You could begin with: “While children need special care, adults can also be led by food ads.”

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences are long and have many ideas. Split a few of them into two shorter sentences so the reader can follow your point more easily.

task response

You give a clear view from the start and support it with two useful reasons: the effect on children and the effect on adults.

task response

The fast-food ad example and your own example of sweet drinks make your ideas clear and easy to understand.

coherence and cohesion

Each paragraph has one main idea, and the last paragraph brings your main points together well.

coherence and cohesion

Words such as “To begin with”, “In addition”, and “Therefore” help the reader follow the flow of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

6.5

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Research has shown that overeating is as harmful as smoking. Therefore, the advertising of certain food products should be banned in the same way as the advertising of cigarettes in some countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem?

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.