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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Although modern technology has made international communication very easy,many business people still travel longdistances for business meetings. Do the advantages of face-to-face meetings outweigh thedisadvantages?

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Introduction
With the help of modern technology
communication
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, communication
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 around the world has become very easy
but
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, but
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 some people still prefer to go
to
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apply
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long distances for professional business
meetings
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. I believe that online
meetings
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 are better than face-to-face sessions as
it
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they
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 save
time
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 and money.
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Also
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Also,
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 they are flexible and adjustable
but
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, but
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 still
having
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have
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 disadvantages of misunderstandings and
lack
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a lack
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 of observation of
real
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the real
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personality
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personalities
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 of business workers.
Body paragraph 1
One
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 of the great
benefit
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benefits
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 of
meetings
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 on computers
are
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is
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 that they save
time
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 and money
of
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on
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 travelling to another country. These online
meetings
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 can be adjusted
according to
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schedules
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the schedules
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 of everybody.
According to
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one
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 of the recent
publication
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publications,
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 it is shown that there are more than
one
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 million professional and teaching
meetings
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 are happening in
one
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 day in India over
the
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apply
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apps like
zoom
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Zoom
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 and
google meet
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Google Meet
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.
Hence
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, these online
meet ups benefits
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meet-ups benefit
 people to enjoy more
time
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 with family rather than wasting it
over
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on
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 trains and flights in travelling.
Body paragraph 2
The major disadvantage of not meeting someone face to face is that we don't get to know the real personalities of people over screens. There are more chances of misunderstandings and failures of these
get togethers
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get-togethers
due to
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weak
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a weak
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 internet connection. To illustrate it, a recent survey has shown that
due to
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 calls and
meetings
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 over phones and laptops
fraud
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, fraud
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 and money laundering activities
has
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have
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 increased. So,
this
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 development has negative impacts as well.
Conclusion
To conclude
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, it can be said that
benefits
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the benefits
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 of online
meetings
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 are more as these are economical, flexible, adjustable and
time
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 savers
while
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have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 more chances of misunderstandings and not getting the true intentions of someone behind the screen.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. The question asks about face-to-face business meetings, but most of the essay explains online meetings. Compare both sides, then clearly say why one side is stronger.
task response
Develop the main ideas further. Explain why meeting in person can help with trust, hard talks, and important deals. Then explain why time and cost may still make online meetings better.
task response
Use examples that are clear and linked to business. The example about many meetings in India does not show why online meetings are better than in-person business meetings. Avoid claims about surveys unless you can explain them well.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an ending. However, the second body paragraph is about problems with online meetings, not the advantages and disadvantages of face-to-face meetings. Keep each paragraph closely linked to the exact question.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences. For example: “Face-to-face meetings have several clear benefits for business.” This will help the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words such as “however”, “therefore”, “for example”, and “as a result”. Do not repeat “adjustable” and “meetings” too often; use “flexible”, “calls”, or “sessions” where needed.
coherence and cohesion
Make the ending stronger by restating your view in one clear sentence and giving the main reason. At present, it lists points but does not fully judge whether the benefits of face-to-face meetings are greater than their costs.
task response
You give a clear personal view that online meetings save time and money.
task response
You include both good and bad points about online communication, such as flexibility, poor internet, and misunderstanding.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay uses a simple four-part shape: introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Also”, “Hence”, “To illustrate”, and “To conclude” help show links between ideas.
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