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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that a car is the best way to travel in city while other believe a bicycle is a better way. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

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Introduction
People disagree over whether
cars
Use synonyms
 or
bicycles
Use synonyms
 are the most suitable means of travelling around a city.
While
Linking Words
cars
Use synonyms
 offer comfort and flexibility, I believe
bicycles
Use synonyms
 are generally preferable for short urban journeys because they use limited street space more efficiently and impose fewer costs on others.
Body paragraph 1
The strongest argument for travelling by car is its practicality under conditions in which cycling is difficult or unsuitable. A car provides protection from heavy rain and extreme temperatures,
while
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 allowing passengers to transport shopping, equipment or young children with relative ease. For someone with limited mobility, it may
also
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 offer access to workplaces and services that would
otherwise
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 be difficult to reach. These advantages are particularly significant in sprawling cities, where destinations are far apart
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 safe cycling routes are scarce. In
such
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 circumstances, choosing a car can be a reasonable response to the design of the city rather than simply a preference for convenience.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
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,
bicycles
Use synonyms
 are often better suited to the demands of densely populated urban areas.
Cars
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 occupy considerable road and parking space, even when carrying only one person; when thousands of commuters make
this
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 choice simultaneously, the resulting congestion undermines the speed and convenience they seek.
Bicycles
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 require far less space and, where protected routes exist, can make short journeys more predictable. Cycling
also
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 produces no exhaust emissions during travel and incorporates physical activity into an
otherwise
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 sedentary routine. Its benefits
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Punctuation problem
, therefore
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therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
show examples
 extend beyond the cyclist to other residents, who experience cleaner air and less traffic noise.
However
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, these advantages are strongest when cities provide connected cycle lanes and secure parking, rather than expecting cyclists to compete with heavy traffic.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
cars
Use synonyms
 remain valuable for journeys involving long distances, heavy loads or particular mobility needs. For most short trips in compact cities,
however
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,
bicycles
Use synonyms
 offer a more efficient and less harmful alternative, making them the better option
overall
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.

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Task response
You cover both sides clearly and give your own view from the start. To make the answer even stronger, add one short real-life example, such as a worker who rides a bike for a short trip or a parent who needs a car to carry children.
Task response
Your main ideas are well explained: cars help in bad weather, for long trips, and for people with limited movement; bikes save space, cut smoke, and help health. Keep linking each idea back to travel in cities.
Coherence and cohesion
The essay has a very clear plan: opening, the case for cars, the case for bikes, and a final view. Each paragraph stays on one main idea, so it is easy to follow.
Coherence and cohesion
Your linking words work well, such as “While”, “Nevertheless”, “However”, and “In conclusion”. You could also use a few simpler links, like “For example” or “As a result”, to show the link between a point and its effect.
Coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph gives a clear answer and matches the view in the opening. This creates a strong and complete ending.
Task response
You answer every part of the question: you discuss cars, discuss bicycles, and clearly state that bicycles are better for most short city trips.
Task response
The ideas are balanced. You do not say that cars are always bad; you explain when they are useful.
Coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is natural and easy to understand. The reader can follow your view without effort.
Coherence and cohesion
You use clear topic sentences, especially at the start of the two main body paragraphs.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • city
  • car
  • bike
  • bicycle
  • travel
  • journey
  • traffic
  • road
  • lane
  • bike lane
  • parking
  • cost
  • price
  • fuel
  • pollution
  • environment
  • health
  • weather
  • safety
  • risk
  • time
  • speed
  • comfort
  • convenience
  • load
  • space
  • noise
  • public transport
  • bus
  • metro
  • train
  • long
  • short
  • option
  • choice
  • advantage
  • disadvantage
  • benefit
  • problem
  • solution
  • balance
  • mix
  • necessary
  • recommend
  • view
  • opinion
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