Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centres. Do you think the advantage outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #companies #industries #move #areas #centres #advantage

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"Where should a factory be located?" -

this

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is a question that interests all companies. Some

people

Use synonyms

believe that the regional area is the best place,

this

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opinion has some benefits and disadvantages and will be devoted

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this

Change preposition

to this

show examples

essay.

At the end

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this

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essay, I will have written down my opinion.

To begin

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with the positive point of view. First and foremost, the main benefit is low land cost.

Moreover

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, many factories produce harmful by-products

such

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as radioactive compounds, carcinogens, and organic or inorganic pollutants

therefore

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a distant location of manufacture has a purpose. Thereby company can save the health of many

people

Use synonyms

Besides

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, the risk of disaster always exists and the fewer

people

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there are, the safer it is.

Additionally

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, factories will be convenient for disposing of wastes

such

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as scrab beyond human civilization. The next positive argument is economic consequences. Construction requires direct investments,

for example

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, for logistic routes and providing workers. By the end of construction, the whole town will have grown at

this

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place. Many cities of the former USSR were founded in

this

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way. If some

people

Use synonyms

go out of large cities,

this

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will solve the overpopulation problem partly.

Further

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, we will consider the negative arguments. The first one is traffic difficulties.

For example

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, electrical energy is lost in the process of transportation through copper cords.

Also

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, not all workers will accept to live out of their hometown

hence

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we can lose qualified engineers or other professionals. In conclusion, I believe that it is the right thesis because the safety of

people

Use synonyms

is more important than the price of production.

Submitted by andreidiakov2100 on Sat Jun 29 2024

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task achievement

Consider refining your thesis statement in the introduction to clearly specify your stance. This adds clarity and sets the expectation for the essay.

task achievement

Ensure that all main points are supported by relevant examples. Some arguments, particularly those concerning economic benefits and safety, could be bolstered by specific, concrete examples.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow of ideas between paragraphs. This can be achieved by using more transitional words or phrases. This will help the essay read more smoothly and improve coherence.

coherence cohesion

Work on ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that clearly connects to the thesis. This helps maintain focus and guides the reader through your arguments better.

introduction conclusion present

Your conclusion can be made stronger by summarising the main points discussed in the essay before restating your opinion. This reinforces your argument and provides a strong finish.

task achievement

You presented a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion, aiding readability.

task achievement

Some arguments, particularly concerning the safety and health benefits of relocating factories, are quite compelling and well articulated.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

266 words

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Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centres. Do you think the advantage outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

The top priority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is better to build new museums and town halls instead of renovating the old ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people aroung the world use social media every day to keep in touch with others people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Some People think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?