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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. What are the causes of this trend? Is this a positive or negative development?

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Introduction
Amidst the accelerating expansion and modernisation of urban environments, the aspirations and prospects of establishing a family are concurrently reshaped and adapted to these structural transformations, consolidating smaller nuclear families or single-person households. The underlying causes stem primarily from two factors
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first,
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economic constraints acting as a structural limitation, and
second,
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a cultural and ideological shift that fosters
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 way of living.
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 trend is largely positive, as it enables individuals to prioritise personal goals, curb overpopulation, and learn to navigate interpersonal dynamics within a more intimate environment.
Body paragraph 1
On one hand, the high cost of living in major capitals is incompatible with the realistic expenses an average individual can afford when aiming to raise a large family. Countries
such
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 as China and South Korea have historically enforced strict birth-control policies, recognising that large families can become problematic
due to
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 the inability to afford a dignified standard of living. In
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 regard, citizens prioritise the well-being of the nuclear family within their existing means, avoiding the need to rely on extended relatives
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 as a grandmother or a sibling for childcare.
Body paragraph 2
Conversely
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, from a broader global perspective, a pronounced trend has emerged regarding family composition and the conventional concept of family. Many young adults, even when possessing sufficient financial means, choose not to have children because they prioritise career and professional goals, which for many represent a form of
self-fulfillment
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 that could be compromised by expanding their family. Some analysts attribute
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 phenomenon to a globalist agenda that promotes
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 new conception of the family, alongside more progressive ideologies that challenge traditional social structures.
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 new approach to family formation entails greater individual autonomy, enabling people to place their personal interests and aspirations above societal or traditional expectations.
Conclusion
Ultimately, the rise of smaller nuclear families and single-person households underscores a profound redefinition of personal priorities in the modern world. Driven by financial pragmatism and ideological shifts,
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 trend largely represents a positive evolution toward individual freedom, sustainable population growth, and more intentional family planning.

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task response
You answer both parts: you give causes and say that the change is mostly good. Make the first cause more exact. High living costs can lead to fewer children, but they do not fully explain why people live alone.
task response
Give a clearer link between small homes and each good point. For example, explain how fewer children may lower pressure on schools, homes, and health care. Also note that living alone can bring loneliness, then explain why you still think the good points are stronger.
task response
Use examples with care. The point about China and South Korea is too broad, and the birth-control rule is not a direct example of people choosing small family units. Choose one clear real-life example about rent, child care, or long work hours.
task response
Avoid the claim about a 'globalist agenda'. It is not explained or proved, and it can make your point sound less fair. Say instead that changing social views and work goals lead some people to delay or avoid having children.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and a final view. Keep this shape, but make each body paragraph follow one simple path: cause, explanation, example, and link to the question.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are very long and carry too many ideas. Split them into shorter sentences so the reader can follow your meaning more easily. For example, state the cost problem first, then explain its effect on family size.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links between ideas. Words such as 'because', 'as a result', 'for example', and 'however' will make the chain of ideas clearer. Do not use many abstract words when a direct word will do.
coherence and cohesion
Keep key terms the same. You move between 'nuclear family', 'family composition', and 'concept of family'. Use 'small families' and 'people living alone' more often, as these match the question.
task response
You give a clear view that the trend is mostly good, and you keep this view in the final paragraph.
task response
The ideas about high costs, work goals, and personal choice are relevant causes of the trend.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well organised into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The opening words 'On one hand', 'Conversely', and 'Ultimately' help the reader see the main parts of your answer.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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